Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT

by **depression76** Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:44 pm

Big hugs for Ghibli and Kona, you guys are awesome. Thanks for sharing the stories guys, they're very heartwarming to read x3

by **ookamidesu** Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:45 pm

GhibliFreek wrote:
ookamidesu wrote:

*Hugs*

I'm happy for you that you are happier with yourself now. Not a lot of people have the courage to tell their loved ones something like that.

Thanks for sharing your story. Have a Sara and Sara's muffin. :)

ffffthankyouuu Q___Q hugsaregoodyes

....wASTHAT MEANT TO BE AN INNUENDO OR HAS SLEEP-DEPRIVATION JUST FLUNG MY MIND INTO THE DARKEST DEPTHS OF THE GUTTER-ohlook she does have a muffin wow.....

Lol Yes. She does have a muffin. Though, I suspect it might just be a mushroom in disguise. :3

by **Luu Sky Sapphire** Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:03 pm

As long as you're happy Freek, that's all that matters. ;p Although, you'll always be one of the guys to me.

Korra chibi

by **GhibliFreek** Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:50 pm

Thanks so much Deppy and Kona and Luu askdjaksdjaskld Q_________Q
*CLINGSTOYOUALLANDWAILS*

by **IlliterateKoi** Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:21 pm

GhibliFreek wrote:Well...I had come out to my parents as lesbian last year.....and then I decided to give them another heart attack by coming out as trans a little before Christmas. What can I say, I was in the giving spirit.
No but in all seriousness, it was one of the most terrifying things I have ever done in my life. I couldn't even work up the courage to tell them face to face, and resorted instead to writing them a letter and pinning it up on the board before I left for college.
By the time I had gotten home, Robs had read it, and he accepted it, and my mum had read it...and settled for ignoring me for almost two weeks. It got better, until a little after the new year when she finally realized just what I was going through and what I wanted for myself, as well as from others. It's very shaky, the topic is always awkward to talk about if it ever comes up. But I'm grateful that I still have a family, and that they even support me enough to go to the therapy sessions that the government deem necessary for me to go on in life :U
It's always going to be hard, due to a lot of peoples views on gender expression and identity....especially the area I live in and my college and work. But you know what, I don't care. I'm happier with myself now than I have been for years. And I know it's only going to get better from here.
/ends his incessant rambling

Bravo, that took some serious balls. It's nice to hear that your family are willing help and support you, even if things are still shaky, it's makes a pleasant change. The therapy sessions lead the way for all the other fun stuff, you just gotta stick it out ;D

I'm glad that you're feeling happier about yourself, hopefully that will only increase as you start to feel more like yourself instead of pretending to be someone else, ne? :3

by **GhibliFreek** Sun Jul 01, 2012 2:14 pm

Q___Q thankyouKoi asdjaksdas *hug*

Yep >v< GREATH THINGS ARE AHEAD MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHA likeworlddomination

by **BMeph** Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:33 pm

depression76 wrote:Big hugs for Ghibli and Kona, you guys are awesome. Thanks for sharing the stories guys, they're very heartwarming to read x3

Big Dittos from me. In fact, if we had it, I'd give both of y'all a Tebow smilie, because I respect your courage and integrity more than a competent-though-mid-grade football player, who's better known as being a Christian, than being an actually good football player.

(No offense to you if you are a Tebow fan, I'm just more impressed with Christians who perform and then say what motivates them, then...otherwise.)

Anyway, since I've known from a young age that I am strongly het, I'll just kick back and be supportive. You know me, though; I hate to see a thread that hasn't been ~~polluted~~ blessed with a comment from me, yet... Rolling Eyes

by **Luu Sky Sapphire** Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:57 pm

IlliterateKoi wrote: I'm glad that you're feeling happier about yourself, hopefully that will only increase as you start to feel more like yourself instead of pretending to be someone else, ne? :3

o.o Maybe pressure is more of a bitch to others, but I never understood what stops a person from being themselves. To tell the world "This is who I am". When you tell your parents you're gay, that honestly reveals who they really are. Because I'm optimistic, I still say they'll support you...eventually. ^_~

by **GhibliFreek** Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:17 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
IlliterateKoi wrote: I'm glad that you're feeling happier about yourself, hopefully that will only increase as you start to feel more like yourself instead of pretending to be someone else, ne? :3

o.o Maybe pressure is more of a bitch to others, but I never understood what stops a person from being themselves. To tell the world "This is who I am". When you tell your parents you're gay, that honestly reveals who they really are. Because I'm optimistic, I still say they'll support you...eventually. ^_~

It's really hard to be yourself in a society that puts pressure on you to be the ideal cis-heterosexual that is deemed normal. Some places are better than others, but there is so much pressure from TV, Politics, and other people in general. It's hard to come out as something that people are still more often than not disgusted, ashamed and/or afraid of. You risk so much in admitting who you are.

by **IlliterateKoi** Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:47 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
IlliterateKoi wrote: I'm glad that you're feeling happier about yourself, hopefully that will only increase as you start to feel more like yourself instead of pretending to be someone else, ne? :3

o.o Maybe pressure is more of a bitch to others, but I never understood what stops a person from being themselves. To tell the world "This is who I am". When you tell your parents you're gay, that honestly reveals who they really are. Because I'm optimistic, I still say they'll support you...eventually. ^_~

I personally take gay and trans issues separately, since one deals with sexuality, and one deals with gender identity, two different things, but I digress. As Freek said, it's incredibly difficult to just be yourself when there is so much pressure everywhere for us to act a certain way in regards to the binary genders.

Trans issues are still a lot more prevalent than gay/lesbian/bi ones, mostly because a lot of people don't understand, or want to understand. For the people here, it isn't an issue because we're all very open minded and accepting, but in the outside world there are a lot of people who aren't so welcoming and supporting about it.

Social pressures are immense, for all of us, but for those who fall in to minority groups it's even more pressurising. That, and we can't all be as awesomely self confident as you are Luu ;P

I could babble on and on about this stuff but I won't, as there is someone much better equipped to do so :3

by **burande fujino** Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:51 pm

I totally agree that there are too many influences to the society....mu sister is a lesbian and my mom wont accept it. It isn't fair to me....

by **Luu Sky Sapphire** Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:05 pm

burande fujino wrote:I totally agree that there are too many influences to the society....mu sister is a lesbian and my mom wont accept it. It isn't fair to me....

She'll accept it sooner or later. You can't be forced to live a life someone else wants. One should pursue a life (and love) that is their own.

by **ookamidesu** Fri Jul 20, 2012 10:36 pm

Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
burande fujino wrote:I totally agree that there are too many influences to the society....mu sister is a lesbian and my mom wont accept it. It isn't fair to me....

She'll accept it sooner or later. You can't be forced to live a life someone else wants. One should pursue a life (and love) that is their own.

Sage advice... :D

Of course, it's also hard in practice. Time will help. ^-^;

by **Luu Sky Sapphire** Tue Jul 24, 2012 1:08 am

ookamidesu wrote:Sage advice... :D;

:'3 It came off too monk-ish, I agree...

---

More videos from my friend Lian! Damn she's awesome, I love her thoughts:

Lian the lesbian episode 25: Why guys think girls are lesbians also dont hate

An episode on what some guys think the reason is for girls to go lesbian...NOT TRUE! Well....depends on the girl. Also this will contain those who say they don't like hate but end up hating on others for some stupid reason

---

Lian the lesbian episode 26: Re: Rainbow Oreos

Oh this is sooo damed annoying making a big deal over a rainbow colored Oreo.....DA FUCK?

---

Lian the lesbian episode 27: Witch ear is the lesbian ear?

So many ask me witch is the lesbian ear and this is my own answer
and if anyone says I'm wrong then that's ure opinion please respect mine! thank u!

by **Luu Sky Sapphire** Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:35 pm

Lian the lesbian episode 32: Lesbians fall in love quicker?

Yay, Lian answered my question. :'3 And debuts her blond hair...that will go rainbow soon!? XDDDD You're so awesome!

by **shezaei-neko** Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:08 am

I've been lead here thanks to Luu.

He was a bit shocked to know that I haven't come out of the closet after I posted a reply in another topic.

I thought that I was always attracted by men, but lately I've been more attracted to women. So I consider myself Bi now.
Though I don't have much experience with either, I'm willing to try.
Of course I haven't told my family about this. It's not a topic that can be easily revealed to them, considering how religious they are.
Some of my friends already know and they support me.
Sadly my recent experiences with both genres went really bad...
One of them was a huge idiot and the other became an overly attached girlfriend in less than 3 days...really that sucked.
So right now I'm waiting for the right person, I'd like to also try a relationship over the net too.

Any tips to find the one for me?

by **Kuga Natsuki** Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:56 am

This is quite an interesting topic :) Kudos to those who came out beer

I have a coming out story, BUT I'm different Razz

I'm neither gay or bisexual. I'm asexual. I'm asexual yet I'm still confused on what I am, which is where I think sexual fluidity comes in, since I remember experiencing changes in my sexuality over the years :shock: BUT that's not important right now Razz

Here's basically my coming-out story:

It all started when I had my first boyfriend. I liked the guy and all for a while, and I was also very happy when we first started to date, since it was my first relationship (his as well). Over the first few weeks of our relationship, I wasn't really ready to kiss him, and I didn't know why, to be honest. I thought I was a late bloomer and thought "Ok, I'm just not ready. Things will work out soon". It took me quite a month or so to open up when it came just to THAT basic, but over the next couple months, things really weren't going anywhere. I was open when it came to kissing, yet I DIDN'T want to kiss the guy. Like I had no desire (plus he was a slobbery kisser XD). When 3 months passed, I started to realize that maybe I didn't like the guy anymore like I used to o.o But I'm surprised we dated for like 7 or 8 months.

Throughout those months I was wondering (and worrying) why I didn't want to be sexually open to my boyfriend. Again, I thought I was a late bloomer, and decided to wait and wait, which is why we dated for almost a year, but during the last months of our relationship, I realized that it was really going nowhere. I just had NO desire and NO attraction to basically do ANYTHING with my boyfriend. I barely kissed the guy, ffs. I didn't want to do anything sexual to him. Just had no desire, and it was worrying me why I was like that. I had NO idea what was going on with me. But after 7-8 months, I called it quits and been single ever since Razz

I didn't find out about asexuality til I was about 18 or 19 (I was 17 during my relationship). I was looking up on Google why I never felt any sexual attraction towards my boyfriend (or to ANYONE for that matter), and "asexuality" came up, along with the asexuality forum AVEN. So I researched and joined the forum for a while to get some help and answers. Asexuality just basically means no sexual attraction to either sex, and that basically summed up how I felt: I just felt NO sexual attraction to anyone.

Ever since I could remember, I never had interest in sex, and ever since I was little, I always said to people that I never want to get married and never want to have kids. It's been over 10 years and I still have my word for it.

When I discovered my asexuality, I was aromantic asexual for about 2 years, because of my bad experience with my ex-boyfriend. Aromantic asexual basically means no sexual and no ROMANTIC attraction to either sex. Because of the trauma in my relationship, I just didn't want anything to do with romance and sex, because I was hurt at the time, but now I recovered, I am up to try for another romantic relationship. Although asexuals have no desire in sex, some do still have sex, because they're curious or they just want to make their partner happy. In my case, I have no desire in sex, but I'd welcome it with open arms, since I'm not one of those asexuals who are basically prudes.

Anywho, after my discovery of my asexuality, I was scared on coming out to my friends and family. I was probably as scared as a gay person would be during their times in the closet. I took it slowly and I kept my asexuality a secret from my family for maybe about a year, or almost. I came out to my friends first, and most reactions were positive, though I've been denied a few times, being called "weird" and "awkward". I even had a friend who completely denied my asexuality and gave me that "You have sexual organs" bullshit excuse, so I stopped talking to that bastard of a friend.

When I came out to my family, I was pressured, really. My sister knew about my asexuality from the start, but not my parents. When I told my mother, it was when she and I were travelling out of town to see my sister who was in college at the time. We were on the topic on how much my sister loves boys and yadda yadda and I felt pressured at that topic. At first I told my mother that I wasn't really interested in men, then I decided to get it over with and told her I was asexual. She didn't deny me nor support me. She just didn't care, which is ok, I guess XD Though asexuality came up as a topic a few times afterwards during the past couple years, and my mother even asked me if I was more into women. Clearly she didn't understand the term "asexuality". And lots of people kept giving me the "you need to find the right person" bullshit excuse. No, I don't need to find the right person in order to become full-fledged aroused and have sex. I'm happy with my (a)sexuality as it is. I don't NEED sex. I never had the desire to even HAVE sex. Asexuals have no sexual attraction but they can have a "romance" drive, and I still have a romance drive. I need romance and love, but I don't need sex, but if time gave me the opportunity to have sex, then I'd might give it a try, just to express my love and romance, since I'm such a romantic Natsuki Kruger2

I'm just a romantic who believes in the whole "making love" business. Don't need sex and I have no desire, but when it comes to love, sure, I'd sacrifice a bit.

So I came out to my friends first, then to my family, then to my relatives via facebook. Even when I was in college, I wrote an essay about asexuality and my experiences with asexuality, so I came out to the classroom as well Natsuki Kruger2

Well, there you go. There's my "coming out" story. I might act like a perv and might eye-candy on a person or two, but on the inside, I just have no desire. To be perfectly honest, I've never experienced sexual arousal before. Never did. And people are probably not gonna believe me saying this, but I've never even masturbated before either in my life. Honest truth. People saying that everyone masturbates is a load of bull Razz

I guess not everyone does then, since I never did.

It's possible that my lack of arousal could be caused by my lack of hormones since I barely grew when I was a young teen, but I really don't quite care, tbh Razz

Though I'm sick of people using my asexuality as an excuse, especially as a medical excuse. It's like saying homosexuality is a gift from Satan. Lame excuses people come up with, really -_-

But yeah, there you go! There's my story and my explanation and yeah, so on. Thank you and good night.

by **ookamidesu** Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:18 pm

That's certainly a new flavor to this thread, Nymph, but I'm glad you shared your story with us. Just like homosexuality and bisexuality, some individuals may be afraid to admit that they are asexual. Hell, they might not even realize that there is a name to their lack of sexual drive, like you once upon a time.

There's a lot of support out there for gays and lesbians and bisexuals, but asexuals (as far as I know) keep a lower profile. You never know when your story helps someone else feel more comfortable with themselves. So, yeah, I'm glad you shared. :3

Have a Sara muffin. :3 Sara

by **Kuga Natsuki** Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:46 pm

Thankies! :3 Asexuality is still unknown. Basically only about 1% of the population are asexual, which is like, I don't know, 70,000 people? Not very much... ._.

by **shezaei-neko** Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:33 pm

Thanks for explaining the full term and experience Nymph.
Thanks to it I now see that I'm not asexual, for a moment in my life I thought I might be, but unlike you I never had the drive to search about it. But now, thanks to you I see that I really wasn't...

I agree that it's more difficult for people to understand that someone is asexual rather than homosexual/bisexual...

by **Kuga Natsuki** Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:44 pm

No probs, Neko~ beer

by **Luu Sky Sapphire** Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:36 pm

Nymph isn't the first! Veteran member (who's on vacation at the moment) Narsilia aka Valkyrie Lightning is asexual too. She went over her entire explanation and experience being asexual and it's perfectly normal to me. Thanks for sharing with us, ladies! As others stated, your experience can help someone lost and confused out there. :)

by **Kuga Natsuki** Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:47 pm

Oh yay another asexual HiME/Otome fan! Small world beer

by **Luu Sky Sapphire** Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:57 pm

Nymphetamine wrote:Oh yay another asexual HiME/Otome fan! Small world

:'3 You'll be meeting her soon~

by **ookamidesu** Thu Aug 30, 2012 10:53 pm

>.>;;

I would've never guessed that about Narsi. I'm still not sure how I missed it...

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