Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
£300 per sessionLuu Sky Sapphire wrote:How much are they asking for with the private option?
and I'd need at least three sessions to get going
I just don't have the means to get that sort of money so I'm just going to stick it out with the NHS
Overall it will be easier because they pay for medication fees and surgery and w/e....but it's just this fuckign waiting time
Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
Interesting.
I actually wanted to pinpoint on how my attraction to women started.
I grew up in an intense home. My parents were extremely too different (and one of them eventually had to give up). I've never been close with my only sister. Although we lived in the same house, she wasn't always around. I've always felt empty, because we never get to be that close as we were growing up. During her high school days, my sister went wild and rebellious. She hated our father, in particular. I couldn't blame her back then, as my father was becoming a drunkard. So she ran away--and we eventually found out she was in a relationship with some lesbian she met somewhere. My mother and the rest of the folks were against this (of course, because the older folks are that religious and more conservative). My mother had no choice but to totally cast her away. She didn't want to, but it was done out of the insistence of the old conservative folks. They just simply didn't want their grandchild and her lesbian girlfriend living in the same roof along with the outright conservative people. In short, Saving Face. It has been a part of the culture (s) I grew up with, being Zh-Fil.
So I grew up without a sister figure around. I've seen how much our family has been against that, and yet here I am, experiencing the same dilemma. It started five years ago. I was still a novice in our industry. That was the year my mom finally decided to give up on my dad and took us along with her. That year also, I met a girl who I became friends with. We were similar in a lot of ways. In fact, she once told me that she saw herself in me and that I was a younger version of her. We became really, really close after she left the company. One day, I actually told her that I like her. That time, the reason I had was not romantic, but rather, I found her more as a sisterly figure. Since then, we've treated each other like sisters. I was very thankful for that. I was content with it. From being distant, I realized I was getting too attached to her. There were times I've seen myself holding her hand like we were lovers. I thought it was nothing back then. There were nights that we slept together. I didn't know why one night all of a sudden I felt something different. I think I was falling for her. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss her. I didn't know why I was feeling that. When I woke up in the morning, I thought of telling her. But somehow, I chickened out.
So far, she still doesn't know. And though we still communicate constantly, that thing has been bothering me. What's more, my mother doesn't even know a thing. I am just so freakin' scared. What if my mother finds out? :(
I actually wanted to pinpoint on how my attraction to women started.
I grew up in an intense home. My parents were extremely too different (and one of them eventually had to give up). I've never been close with my only sister. Although we lived in the same house, she wasn't always around. I've always felt empty, because we never get to be that close as we were growing up. During her high school days, my sister went wild and rebellious. She hated our father, in particular. I couldn't blame her back then, as my father was becoming a drunkard. So she ran away--and we eventually found out she was in a relationship with some lesbian she met somewhere. My mother and the rest of the folks were against this (of course, because the older folks are that religious and more conservative). My mother had no choice but to totally cast her away. She didn't want to, but it was done out of the insistence of the old conservative folks. They just simply didn't want their grandchild and her lesbian girlfriend living in the same roof along with the outright conservative people. In short, Saving Face. It has been a part of the culture (s) I grew up with, being Zh-Fil.
So I grew up without a sister figure around. I've seen how much our family has been against that, and yet here I am, experiencing the same dilemma. It started five years ago. I was still a novice in our industry. That was the year my mom finally decided to give up on my dad and took us along with her. That year also, I met a girl who I became friends with. We were similar in a lot of ways. In fact, she once told me that she saw herself in me and that I was a younger version of her. We became really, really close after she left the company. One day, I actually told her that I like her. That time, the reason I had was not romantic, but rather, I found her more as a sisterly figure. Since then, we've treated each other like sisters. I was very thankful for that. I was content with it. From being distant, I realized I was getting too attached to her. There were times I've seen myself holding her hand like we were lovers. I thought it was nothing back then. There were nights that we slept together. I didn't know why one night all of a sudden I felt something different. I think I was falling for her. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss her. I didn't know why I was feeling that. When I woke up in the morning, I thought of telling her. But somehow, I chickened out.
So far, she still doesn't know. And though we still communicate constantly, that thing has been bothering me. What's more, my mother doesn't even know a thing. I am just so freakin' scared. What if my mother finds out? :(
franticfranz- Pearl Otome
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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
I think this situation becomes a lot easier when you don't live with the parent you are worried might find out. Once you live by yourself you aren't dependant on them to keep a roof over your head at least and you can both give each other any space that you may need. You said yourself that your mother did not want to disown your sister, and that she only did so because she was being pressured by others. Your mother isn't going to stop loving you over this, but yes, things may be strained, and it will hurt. But if it means that you will get to be happy and not have to hide parts of yourself then in the long run it'll be worth it. Quite a few members of my family can be very homophobic, and it bugged me a lot when I was younger...now I really couldn't care less, if they don't like it stuff 'em, I'm 10x happier now that I'm not hiding what is really quite a big part of who I am. Don't get me wrong, I was quite close to some of them and it did suck to lose that, but I still feel like it was well worth it.
Also, just thought I'd say that it's never too late to try and reconnect with your sister. I never got on with my younger brother when we were growing up, for various reasons that were not his fault, but he's like my best friend now that situations have changed. If she still doesn't want to be close with you then at least you tried and you haven't lost anything :3
Also, just thought I'd say that it's never too late to try and reconnect with your sister. I never got on with my younger brother when we were growing up, for various reasons that were not his fault, but he's like my best friend now that situations have changed. If she still doesn't want to be close with you then at least you tried and you haven't lost anything :3
IlliterateKoi- Goldfish wanker of Camelot
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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
In where I am, gay men are more dominant than lesbians. (Or at least, that's what I have noticed). Over time, gay men have become part of the society I live in (here, at least). Most people here have become accepting of the fact that gay men do exist and that nothing can be done about it. But with lesbians, it's quite a different story. For some reason, lesbians are somewhat still not accepted. I don't know why that's the case. Maybe, (this is just a thought...) because over the years, this country has always had that respect for women. Especially with the Catholics, they recognize the so-called "sanctity" of being a woman with the Virgin Mary as their perfect example. This is just here on where I am. I am not sure if that's the same with other Catholics elsewhere. Those are more of my observations when I spent at least two years in church.
Lately, with my mom being so upset about my sister's doings, I heard say something that really pounced into my heart.
"I'd curse the world if I find out that my other daughter's also gay."
--- Or at the least that's the way I understood it. It was said in our language, so I don't know if my English take on it even makes sense. :(
@Kaichou-Koi: Thanks for the thought. I really appreciate it. ^_^
Lately, with my mom being so upset about my sister's doings, I heard say something that really pounced into my heart.
"I'd curse the world if I find out that my other daughter's also gay."
--- Or at the least that's the way I understood it. It was said in our language, so I don't know if my English take on it even makes sense. :(
@Kaichou-Koi: Thanks for the thought. I really appreciate it. ^_^
franticfranz- Pearl Otome
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Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
Since Kaichou covered what I wanted to say in her own British-y way, I just want to make one point.
Human emotion is complex. If we feel something, we shouldn't just brush it off like it's some kind of phase. That type of action is no different than your parents thinking homosexuality is a sickness or whatnot. Accept your feelings, even if you have to soul search a bit. 9 3/4 times out of 10, they're true to your heart and who you are.
FLY AWAYYYYYYYYY!
Human emotion is complex. If we feel something, we shouldn't just brush it off like it's some kind of phase. That type of action is no different than your parents thinking homosexuality is a sickness or whatnot. Accept your feelings, even if you have to soul search a bit. 9 3/4 times out of 10, they're true to your heart and who you are.
FLY AWAYYYYYYYYY!
Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
United States has legalized gay marriage all across the nation due to ShizNat Day yesterday.
Re: Coming out stories and Gay/Lesbian Discussion LGBT
Luu Sky Sapphire wrote:
United States has legalized gay marriage all across the nation due to ShizNat Day yesterday.
So colorful! Now thinking that カラフル (Colorful) by ClariS fits the occasion. xD
franticfranz- Pearl Otome
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