Little Love

Strange things come to me at 1 am. This was one of them. I like it. I'm going to expand on it. But this is what I have now.
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“You need to have patience little love.”

I always hated it when she said that. Patience she said. That was easy for her to say. She’d lived for 100s of years. You don’t manage that by being impatient. I know that. And yet-when she gives me that small smile-where her eyes crinkle a bit I can’t help but feel a surge of annoyance at her.

“I’m not getting any younger you know.”

That will always cause her to frown and her eyes to drop and I feel bad almost as soon as the words leave my mouth. I know it’s stupid. I know after I die I’ll be born again to watch over her and protect her. But the ‘me’ of today doesn’t like to think about the ‘me’ of 80 years from now. That’s a ‘me’ that won’t know her as well as I do now.

“Yes. I know, little love.”

The way her voice drops to almost a whisper makes my heart clench and I wrap my arms around her. They don’t go all the way around her fully grown body. I’m still only 13. But I’m going to grow. Even though I can’t envelop her, she can envelop me. She turns in my arms and pulls her cloak around me and I’m embraced in warmth and love.

She smells like old parchments and ink. Like the ground after a rainstorm. I bury my nose into the folds of her tunic and close my eyes to anything other than her. Her fingers run through my short hair.

I can be patient when we have moments like this. Moments where I can almost remember when I was a lass and she was nothing more than a mother figure to me. Someone I loved unconditionally-Something that has remained true. But now instead of learning to read script on her lap, I hone the art of the bow and knife. Instead of taking meals at her side, scrabbling to reach the food across the table-I sit at a distance and watch her with careful eyes.

“Your hair is growing again.”

I frown, pulling back.

“I’ll cut it than.”

I haven’t worn my hair long since I was seven winters. Not since beginning to be a guardian. I just want to look the part. Long hair is a luxury I cannot afford. The way she looks at the top of my head, that sad and wistful look is enough for me to break out of our embrace.

“You don’t have to do this, you know. Little love, you could just stay by my side.”

I almost want to say yes. That I would rather stand beside her as her charge-the child born of the stars to stand with the woman of the moon-but I know I cannot. My blood sings to protect her. To love her and cherish her. To stop anything ill from getting to her. It hurts to be away from her, even if it is only a few feet at a time.

“You know I can’t. I chose this path. Just like the ‘me’ did before me, and the other before her. And the others. All of them. We live to serve you.”

“You live to stay with me.”

Her correction makes my shoulders stiffen and my lips thin out in a taught line. I have no answer to her calm visage and gentle airs. She is after all, the one who has always been by my side. She knows more about me than I ever could hope for. It frustrates me that she-that I-

“Little love.”

Her fingers trace my cheek and I meet her eyes, still having to crane my neck to see them. Soon, I think. I’ll be able to look at her properly. Her smile is soft, and her eyes overflowing with the sort of love I cannot begin to describe. She brushes her palm across my cheek, her fingers tweaking my ear. I grimace, knowing that she’s treating me as a child. It’s not fair.

‘Little love’ after all, still means that I am ‘little’. A child. I don’t want her to see me as a child. I want her to see me as a knight. As someone who can stand behind her and have her back. But for now I suppose I have to put up with the scolding for talking back. Even if it isn’t really a scolding at all.

“I’m going to stand with you.”

He surprise makes be sort of giddy. It’s not easy to surprise her.

“Soon. I’m going to be able to be with you. As an adult. Just you wait.”

Her smile makes my heart swell-and gives me butterflies in a way that is still new and scary to me.

“Ah, I can wait a long time, little love.”

Her lips brush my forehead.

“Patience, little love. Patience.”

I hate when she says that. I’m in a hurry to grow up and have her see me as who I can really be. The ‘me’ that she wants me to be. That I want to be. But with her face so close to mine, and my head cradled in her arms, I can wait a few more days.

This is really cool, keep it up Kona! I'm curious as to the true identity of the second speaker and the relationship between the two characters

midori's crazy398 wrote:This is really cool, keep it up Kona! I'm curious as to the true identity of the second speaker and the relationship between the two characters

Thanks! I'm working on a follow up that should answer a few questions. ;3