Prized Possessions - Chapter 4

"My mother was suffering from throat cancer." Margret told Hilda. The both of them were sitting down outside of Miriam Hospital.

"They found the tumor very late, so, there wasn't lot they could do for her here." The teddy bear carrier continued. "My mom looked perfectly healthy to me. I didn't understand. Before any of that had occurred, mom gave me peter for my 8th birthday. It was a keep sake."

"So, because of your mother's memory... That's how you are able to change back physically?"

Margret nodded. "Yes, that's right."

"But, how does it even work?" Hilda asked.

"I think about the better days in life, my childhood. Then I close my eyes, think long and hard about it. Slowly but surely, I start changing. When I don't need the bear, I just put it down in my room and the magic fades away. I'm back to being taller and older."

Hilda was somewhat speechless of what Margret's explanation. "So, that's what you meant when you said the bear was important to you."

"Hilda, this might not be easy to hear, but..." Margret suggested. "I think you shouldn't hold a grudge forever. I know it must've been really difficult for you to not have both parents around. But, you can't stay angry and resentful for the rest of your life."

"Why can't I?" Hilda asked. "It's her fault for not stepping up and being a parent. Dad was no better either. He took himself to jail for selling drugs. Whitney had to go through hell and back to keep a roof underneath both of heads. Both Oscar and that woman...they're the worst!"

"You'll just regret it, in the end."

"And how would you know, huh?" Hilda vented at Margret. "How can you understand my feelings?"

"Because I was angry with my mother for being sick!" Margret snapped. "Ten years ago, my parents tried to tell me about the cancer. The more I listened the more furious I had become! She promised that we would always be together. I wanted her to take me to the carnival! Mom told me she was sorry but I called her a traitor, yelling that it was her fault for being sick...!"

Hilda was speechless as she listened to her classmate. Shock overthrew the anger now.

"It was never my mother's fault. I was just angry." Margret's voice begin cracking. "I didn't mean to say such harsh things at the time. And...several months later before mom passed away, all I could do was cry near her death bed. I had finally apologized to her as she took her last breath."

Margret's steel blue eyes shed tears of remorse. It was one of those memories that anyone wouldn't like to remember. "I had put aside my anger but I still felt betrayed and alone. Dad's been taking care of me all these years but...it still doesn't feel the same without her..."

"Margret, I..." Hilda bit her upper lip. Margret truly regretted staying mad with her mother. Does that mean Hilda would feel the same for both of her parents? They gave her life, but both of them had violent, dangerous, shady lifestyles. Neither of them were responsible enough to clean up their acts.

Damn it...this is so messed up!

Both girls sat in dead silence. The sun slowly started to set. Evening was almost at its end. An hour has passed.

Margret broke the silence. "What are you going to do now?"

Hilda replied. "I'll just go home. I feel so overwhelmed with everything right now."

"You look tired." Margret examined the girl's face. "You should relax. You've been through enough for today."

"I know." Hilda got up first. "Thanks, Margret. You should head home too, before it gets dark."

"Oh, y-yeah." Margret nodded.

"Bye then." Hilda waved good bye and walked away. During her walk home, she noticed someone jogging across the street. Her head was shrouded in a green hood.

"She looks familiar." Hilda thought to herself, watching the person jog away. "Isn't that Janae running like that? She's got her hood on, so I can't really tell. Speaking of Janae, I should give her a call and visit her sometime."

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While Hilda and Margret part ways, there was a young woman jogging past the hospital. She had red wine colored hair and light green eyes. She had on a sports bra underneath a green light jacket and, capri pants, and comfortable shoes. The girl was on her way back from a good 1-hour jog across town. The apartment she was staying at was only several blocks away.

"Lucy, I'm home!"

"Welcome back, Janae." said a voice from the living room.

"Whatcha doing?" The redhead asked, walking from the apartment hall to the small kitchen.

"Looking at photos." said the other person. "The ones I took at the Zoo yesterday."

"Well, anyway, I'm hitting the showers."

You're still having a hard time choosing between the panda and the giraffe aren't you?"

"Yes, I am." Lucy said across the room.

"Okay, hold on."

Janae went over to Lucy's office room was. There were piles of photos next to Lucy. Lucy had brown eyes and dark brown hair. She was currently torn with picking certain frames of two pictures.

"Pandas are cuter." Janae suggested.

"Giraffes are more imposing." Lucy pointed out.

"Dude, Pandas are way better. Trust me on this." Janae proceed to take off her jacket and top while walking towards the bathroom. "Well, I'm hitting the showers. I need to wash away all this sweat."

"Take your sweaty gear with you." Lucy told her.

"Put them in the hamper for me."

Janae took her shower and came back inside the mini office room.

"I'm all set." Lucy responded. "I'm choosing both of them."

"So, are you doing a project?" the redhead asked.

"No," the other girl responded. "I'm just adding it into the album."

Janae sat next to Lucy, their shoulders touching lightly. The redhead flipped through some pages. She saw a few pictures of her and Lucy from when they were students at Teen Health High, five years ago.

Janae smiled at the pictures, reminiscing. "We were quite...innocent back then, weren't we?"

"Very much so." Lucy agreed, placing both zoo photos inside the blank page.

"But," Janae closed the album, looking straight Lucy. "in the end, it was all worth the trouble we went through together. I wouldn't change anything else."

Lucy placed the book aside. "Living together is going to be tough."

Janae could see hints of uncertainty coming from her girlfriend. She also knew that living in a small apartment by themselves wasn't going to be easy. But, she didn't really mind it all that much. Her dad would mail her money for rent and food. Her mother can visit her from time to time, make sure everything's fine. There was no reason to doubt any further.

"We'll manage, Lucy." Janae embracing the brown haired girl, placing soft kisses near the nape of her neck. "At least, there are no annoying relatives who will interrupt us, right?"

Lucy shivered, feeling Janae's lips on her neck. She placed her hands on Janae's waist enjoying the moment. The other girl went for Lucy's lips. No tongue or saliva involved. Just a simple kiss. Suddenly, Janae released Lucy and rubbed at her shoulder.

"Are you all right?" Lucy asked.

"My shoulder's been bugging a few moments ago." Janae responded, wincing a little. "I might've messed it up while I was jogging."

"Then it looks like you're in need of a massage." Lucy commented, slightly seductively. "Wanna try some baby lotion?"

"Okay, sure." Janae smiled, getting up from off her chair. She allowed the white robe to fall off her shoulders.

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Margret had not seen much of Hilda since the past three days. Hilda would usually come show up in the morning to eat breakfast. The short girl had already knew where her classmate was but she still felt somewhat down about the dark skinned girl not being in class. Afterwards, Margret left early from school. She wanted to see her crush.

The steel blue eyes girl walked inside Miriam Hospital, hoping to find Hilda. And, there she was, sitting all alone with a gloomy expression on her face.

"Margret…why are here…?" Hilda asked.

The other girl averted her eyes. "I'm just passing by."

Hilda got up, giggling a little."Your house is in the other direction from school, isn't it? Or did you move somewhere else as an excuse?"

"Oh, haha, very funny." Margret pouted.

The other girl smiled, her gloomy mood has lifted, for now. She sat back down. "I'm sorry. You came to see me because I was absent from school, right? It's Whitney…she had a fever. She works at Stop n' Shop every day. She barely settles down at home. And then, Whitney visits that woman, takes care of her with so much effort."

"Was the fever out of stress and exhaustion?"

"Yes," Hilda confirmed. "That's what the doctor said. Whitney will be released soon. But, she's pushing way too hard to keep everything in balance. And she says I'm the stubborn one."

"It must be tough." Margret sympathized, sitting next to Hilda.

"Heh, it is." The other girl admitted. "Hey, does anything matter anymore?"

"What do you mean?" Margret asked, rising an eyebrow.

"I mean, pretty soon, I'll have to take care of auntie. Like she looks after that woman. I might have to take another job, choose a good shift, and balance between that and being a waitress at the same time. Ugh! Nothing is going my way."

"That's just the way life goes, Hilda." Margret said softly placing her hand in Hilda's for comfort. "Life hits you in all different kinds of directions. You have bear with it and endure the hardships that come with it. I know you'll manage, somehow. So, stop worrying so much."

"Thanks." Hilda rubbed her eyes, refusing to let any tears from appearing. "You know, I thought I as going to hate your guts when we had first met two years ago. But, you've really proved me wrong."

"Likewise." Margret giggled in response.

Hilda intertwined their fingers together. She smiled with relief. "Sorry for all of this complaining. It's not like you're responsible for what I'm going through in my life."

"Too late for that." Margret smiled at her classmate. "In for a penny, in for a pound! I'm already in too deep to stop caring now."

Hilda laughed. "Oh, is that so? Though, I do appreciate your company, Margret." The black haired girl blushed lightly. She was so very happy that she wasn't alone. She looked at the clock. "Oh, geez, it's already 3:30pm. I better go check up on Auntie Whitney."

"All right." Margret said, reluctantly letting go of her friend's hand. "I should head back home, too."

"I'll see you at school tomorrow."

Hilda watched Margret leave. Just then, she could've sworn that there was a warm, fuzzy feeling inside of her. Hilda felt more at peace than before. Could this be Margret's doing? Is she making her feel more at ease? Either way, Hilda brushed that aside for now. She had to go check up on her guardian.

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A week later...

Hilda was at the Refreshing Peace café, waiting for two close friends of hers. She had spoken to one of them, Janae, on the phone, yesterday afternoon. She was in need of some serious advice

Janae and Lucy went out to meet up with Hilda, their underclassman.

"Hey, Hilda, we came to your need as requested." Janae said heroically.

"Thanks, you two." Hilda stood up and gave each girl a hug. "It's been a while, hasn't it? How have you two lovebirds been?"

"We got our own place now. It's been four days now." Janae said, wrapping an arm around Lucy's waist. "We're still adjusting, but, at least we won't have to disturb any classmates in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed, Lucy elbowed her girlfriend in the stomach.

"Ow! Come on, babe. I'm just kidding."

"So, what's been going on with you, Hilda?" Lucy asked.

"Well..." Hilda explained everything to the couple. She had very few friends back at school. It was hard to open up to anyone considering how messed up of a family Hilda had. Whitney raised her for 16 years, yet, Hilda acted distant at times. She had a façade; the well behaved honor student by day, confused and angry illegitimate child by night. Janae and Lucy were the only ones who had seen through the mask. They wanted to be her friend. Hilda took the chance and did not regret a thing. She knew she could rely on the couple.

"I just had to get out of that hospital." Hilda stretched her arms. "I came back from visiting mom's-that woman's room."

"How is your aunt doing?" Lucy asked.

"Oh, she's doing fine now." Hilda smiled with relief. "She was discharged from Miriam hospital two days ago. I picked up some medicine for Whitney too. I just decided to stop by after the errand. That woman...she looked at me and smiled. She seemed really happy."

Hilda looked up at the sky. "Do you want to watch some television?" "If you want any snacks, you can go ahead and use my money for some." "Have you made some good friends at school?"

"That's what she said to you?" Janae asked. "Were you surprised?"

"Yeah. Hard to believe, isn't it? I don't remember that woman being so nice to me like that before. Despite suffering from a heart disease, that woman sure is insanely calm. How can she be like that? Is she trying to deny that she'll be dead soon?"

"Hilda..." Janae looked at the dark skinned girl, worriedly.

"She's not my mother, I keep denying it every time but...now..." Hilda covered one of her eyes in frustration. "Why do I have to go through all of this? Why me?"

"You're not the only one suffering, you know." The brown haired girl sipped on her coffee. "There are lot of people who are dealing with illnesses. Many people aren't as fortunate to get help from relatives. They are forced to deal with it alone and fail miserably. Hilda, you should consider looking on the brighter side of things, rather than think pessimistically."

"I know that but..." Hilda paused. "No, you're right, Lucy. I need to stop being depressed and sorry for myself. Right now, I have to do whatever I can back at home. I'm gonna help Whitney more. I owe her for raising me after all."

"Good to hear." Janae smiled at the younger girl. "So, Hilly, now that you're a senior, do you plan on looking for some hot studs?"

"Shessh, Janae, you know the answer to that!" Hilda huffed. "Especially not now, either. I don't have time for relationships like that."

"Well, isn't there somebody you like at least?"

"Oh, well, yeah, there is..." Hilda stammered, blushing red. "But...we're just friends though and it's complicated."

"If you're friends with the person," Lucy asked. "how is that complicated?"

"The both of you still remember Margret, right?" Hilda whispered. "Well, it turns out...she's in love with me."

"WHAT?!" Janae exclaimed loudly, startling a few people at the café. She sat back down. "Are you serious?" she whispered back towards Hilda. "That Margret? The teddy bear carrying brat with the crappy attitude."

Hilda nodded. "Yes. She confessed to me three weeks ago. I wasn't expecting it, honestly. I...sort of...rejected her."

"Why?" Lucy titled her head slightly.

"W-well...like I said before, I'm not settling down with anybody."

"But, you talk to her about your problems, too, right?" Lucy responded. "You seem to be opening up to Margret quite a lot."

"Yeah..." Hilda said, thinking about it for a moment. Lucy was right. Hilda was getting along a whole lot better with the other girl than two years ago. Around that time, both then 16 year olds were nearly at each other's throats, though not physically. They were headstrong with what they expected from the other. Hilda was probably the only person to keep Margret in line at school.

Now, it was a different. Hilda and Margret were now good friends. A confession gone wrong ended up bringing them closer together. There had even been rumors at high school about them practically dating (which later stopped thanks to Margret's threats upon the gossip groups) Hilda's orientation now hangs in the balance between uncertainty and clarity.

"For now, I don't know what I want." Hilda sighed, looking at her small plate of chicken fingers and fries.

"Hilly, it's about time you concentrate on your true feelings." Janae reasoned. "Do you really hate your parents? Do you intend to keep everything to yourself? Are going to keep being in denial? What is it that you really want in life after you graduate?"

Those questions certainly hit hard for Hilda. Especially since those were the questions she, herself, was trying to avoid and not want to even think about. But, she knew it was that time. Hilda had to face her inner demons.