'Daijoubu?' A different sort of ShizNat fic

Something I wrote when thinking about what would happen if the HiME!Shizuru and the Otome!Shizuru switched places. I let myself run wild with this one really...(orz...it really is a wild idea) so Here we have HiME Natsuki and Otome Shizuru in a situation that I always wanted to do-even though it's physically IMPOSSIBLE. (Except in the Mai Otome manga perhaps...>> which is what gave me the idea in the first place.)

Title: Daijoubu?

--
Shizuru rolled once more onto her back and took in a deep breath. Inhaling Natsuki’s scent made her almost instantly regret it as she felt a pang of longing for her lover and a feeling of guilt for imposing on the otherwise brash girl’s bed she currently slept in. She sighed, sitting up and slowly got out of bed. Apparently there was to be no sleeping for her tonight. She could manage however, given that Natsuki kept a store of tea in her kitchen. A simple cup and she’d probably be relaxed enough to sleep again. The trick would be doing this without waking the wolf-like girl in the other room.

Quietly exiting the bedroom Shizuru couldn’t help but gaze in on the alternate form of her lover. She let a small smile crawl onto her face. Really, the girl was far too cute. Natsuki currently slept curled up into a large pillow, her face blissfully unaware of her watcher. However it only took her a moment to ruin the image by rolling to the side and sprawling herself on her pull out mattress. Shizuru allowed herself a chuckle and continued on in the darkness to the kitchen where she found it was safe to turn on the light.

She was successful in her search for tea. It wasn’t the normal flavor she had, in fact it seemed to be completely new to her. Ara, no time to try things like the present, Shizuru mused silently, and set to quietly brewing the tea. She inspected the kitchen with her crimson gaze almost amused. This Natsuki had the same bad habits as ever. An overabundance of mayonnaises and very little healthy foods seemed to fill her cabinets and fridge. It would seem though someone who had recently been by however had tried to fix that by mixing in some healthier foods into the mix of junk food. She was even more amused to see Natsuki’s messy shopping list pinned to the fridge, which seemed to have a entire argument written on it.
In the distinctly messy scrawl that she identified as Natsuki she saw the original list, and then in a much girlier script was a few added health foods. Underneath that Natsuki had written ‘butt out Mai! I am perfectly capable of feeding myself and buying my own foods!’

Beneath that Mai seemed to have answered, ‘oh like hell you can! You have NO vegetables in there! And barely any fruits! Even Mikoto eats better than you do!’

Then underneath Natsuki’s very cuss filled reply came a very elegant script, ‘Ara, Natsuki should listen to Mai-han’s suggestions, perhaps I could make Natsuki a negi soup?’ Shizuru rose her eyebrow at this, because underneath that came Natsuki’s very fervent words that she would never allow that ‘thing’ in her house ever again. What made her smile though was the small annotation underneath that that read in Natsuki’s handwriting, ‘tea for Shizuru’.

Ara, so it would appear as though Fujino-han is important to Kuga-han, Shizuru mused, pouring her tea into the small clay cup. Taking the cup in hand and rubbing the unfamiliar contours of it to calm herself she thought quietly. However…if our rocky meeting is anything to go by, something must’ve happened quite recently to make her so…she searched for the word she was looking for, apprehensive. Perhaps the next time Tokiha-han is over I should probe the issue…simply to clear up the air. She thought, slightly curious of what must’ve transpired to have made what seemed to have been a strong friendship so frayed.

Shizuru was about to raise the cup to lips again but stopped short with a startled blink. She was almost certain she’d heard something she most definitely was not expecting to hear. She placed the cup down and focused her ears, searching for the sound again. When the low sound came again she furrowed her brow in slight confusion and worry. If her ears were not deceiving her she had definitely heard Natsuki doing something very uncharacteristic--

She was whimpering. Shizuru stood quickly and took even and quiet strides back to the living room to look in on the younger woman. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t familiar with the sound the girl was uttering. She heard it quite often back at Garderobe from the current Gakuencho . Given the circumstances in which it was uttered were extravagantly different, but nonetheless it was quite certain this whimpering wasn’t a sign of anything good. She poked her head in and took a few steps in, “Natsuki?” she whispered, taking a few more steps towards the girl. The sight made her heart ache.

Natsuki was tossing in unease , tangling herself in her thin sheets. Her face was scrunched up in fear and pain and one of her hands clenched at the pillow at her side desperately. She whimpered again and squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. “N-no…” she begged, her voice almost strangled. She twisted again and her legs curled up to her chest. “Shi…Shizuru…” she whimpered, causing the the older woman above her to gasp and widen her eyes. Was she having a nightmare about Fujino?

Shizuru pursed her lips in indecision while staring at the tormented girl on the futon. She somehow doubted her waking the girl up would be wise. If from her previous experience with the girl were anything to go by she would quickly be thrown onto the ground by Natsuki’s reflexes. However the growing ache in her chest forced her to act as Natsuki whimpered loudly in anguish once more. She reached out for Natsuki’s shoulder and called to the girl, “Natsuki?” She called just loud enough.

Natsuki’s eyes shot open with a extremely audible gasp and she harshly yanked herself free of Shizuru’s grasp with a loud exclamation of “NO!” She hastily retreated to the far side of the pull out futon, hands covering her mouth while she tried to gather her wits. The two of them remained silent and almost completely motionless save for Natsuki’s quiet panting and occasional shiver. It was a few minutes before Shizuru dared to speak. “Natsuki?” she called out hesitantly to the girl, noticing the very visible flinch with a heavy heart. “Are you alright?” she probed.

She hadn’t expected the girl to stiffen and bristle the way she had, “I’m fine,” she snapped, turning her face away from Shizuru, “I just had a bad fright alright?” she explained behind her hand, slowly lowering the appendage until it rested at her side. She flinched though when Shizuru sat opposite of her on the futon, her eyes kind as she gazed at Natsuki from her seat.

“This has something to do with Fujino-han doesn’t it?” Viola asked catching the small flinch in the girl’s posture, “I’m right, aren’t I?” she pressed, moving carefully towards the distraught girl. She was hurt by the wolf like girl’s next words.

“It has nothing to do with you,” she muttered fiercely, turning her back to the Otome, “You wouldn’t understand it. I know you wouldn’t,” Natsuki continued, lowering her head slightly.

“Still though…” Shizuru moved closer to the girl, close enough to delicately wrap a hand around the girl’s shoulder, “I want to know. I hate seeing Natsuki in pain,” she whispered, trying to show her sincerity in the matter.

Natsuki hunched her shoulders over slightly and heaved a sigh, “you’re too much alike…” she murmured, in a barely audible manner.

“Ara?”

Natsuki turned her jade eyes to the older woman and reiterated herself, “You and My Shizuru…You’re too much alike. It’s a scary resemblance…” She bit her lip slightly, lowering her eyes, “Though you still wouldn’t get it. If what you said is true…you and your Natsuki don’t have any problems, so this wouldn’t make any sense to you,” Shizuru was about to protest otherwise but was cut off, “You didn’t have to deal with the HiME battles…”

Shizuru furrowed her brow again, “HiME battles?” she repeated, her thoughts confused, What on earth do ‘princess battles’ have to do with this? She thought, the translation coming up strange in her mind.

Natsuki debated for a moment before answering, “HiME. Highly advanced Materializing Equipment,” She decoded, one of her hands reflexively flexing as if one of her weapons were to appear. “There were 13 of us. We were basically warriors of sorts. We had weapons that were called Elements,” she flexed her hands again and Shizuru got the distinct idea that Natsuki’s ‘element’ had been a gun. “Then there were our Children,” she added.

“Children?” Shizuru repeated, slightly stunned by the term. Was she to understand that…

“Not like that!” Natsuki quickly blurted out, “Our Child was a manifestation of our love for our most precious person. They were…” She searched for a word to describe them, coming up blank, “They looked different for each of us. Duran…he was a wolf,” she whispered, her Child’s name slipping affectionately from her lips.

“So where does the battling come into play with this?” Shizuru asked, running through the facts she already had with a small amount of amazement.

Natsuki’s face contorted into a grimace, and for a moment Shizuru thought she may have pushed the girl too far, “At first…we were just trying to destroy the Orphans…but then…” she looked off to the side again, “The Carnival started…” Shizuru waited for the girl to continue this time instead of interjecting, “It was…an all out war really. We were fighting against the others-the HiME. But if we lost…” she ducked her head, her voice somber, “our most important person would be killed.”

Shizuru widened her eyes slightly for a moment before nodding. She knew this reality-the Otome system was quite similar in the lines of what would happen if you were defeated. It was something an Otome knew before she got her GEM, but it would appear that the HiME did not have the privilege of knowing this.

“We tried not to fight, but in the end…All hell broke loose and there was no stopping it,” she gave a twisted smile, “I really thought there was nothing for me to lose. All I could do was gain what I wanted. If I could win, I could get my revenge on District One; or if I didn’t fight I’d be hindering them. That all changed…” she whispered, as if dreading what came next in her tale.

“I…I got in the middle a huge fight. I tried to stop it-stupidly of course, the whole dorm house was on fire, and at least half of the forest was burnt to a crisp,” she gave a tired chuckle, “I almost got killed then and there…” Natsuki looked up at Shizuru and locked eyes, “But I was saved by someone else’s Child,”

Shizuru furrowed her brow slightly, “Whose…?” she whispered back.

Natsuki kept her jade locked with burgundy and answered solemnly, “Your’s. Kiyohime.”

Shizuru sucked in a breath at this and already saw where this must’ve been going. Fujino had been protecting Natsuki…so…

Natsuki continued though, lowering her gaze, “I didn’t know it at the time though. I had a more pressing matter at hand. I got…confused about some important things and I fell into a trap,” the twisted smirk came back again, “If I had been in any right mind I would have never fallen into it,” she protested softly.

Shizuru was able to guess from there, “Fujino-han came to save you,” she stated, and received a nod in return, “and that was when you found out that she was a HiME?” she hazarded.

“Un…She fixed me up and brought me somewhere secluded to heal. It was far enough for me to not have to worry about the fact that Duran wouldn’t come for me…” Natsuki hesitated for a moment and looked to Viola with a wary expression. “That’s…when everything went wrong…”

“went…wrong?” Viola repeated, eyebrows furrowing slightly.

Natsuki brought her hand up shakily to her mouth again, “Shizuru she…she…” Natsuki struggled with herself for a moment before finally getting the words out, “she kissed me when I was asleep…and Yukino made it seem as though she had done some other things to me while I was knocked out,” she whispered.

Shizuru’s eyes widened and all too familiar circumstances seemed to echo in her head. Natsuki Kruger’s appalled face as she tried to kiss her, the slap that had hurt far too much, and the tears that she had made Natsuki shed. “Nat…suki…” she whispered, taking her hand off of her shoulder.

“It was then I found out that Shizuru loved me,” Natsuki said bitterly, gripping the hand around her mouth into a fist, “I’d known her for years and I never realized it! I never realized she was a HiME, I couldn’t figure out that she loved me, and couldn’t stop her from killing people,” she cried angrily, more at herself than the Otome, hanging her head in despair. “I rejected her-from the shock of everything and she lost it. Destroyed Yukino’s Child and killed Haruka…and then killed a lot of people down at District One for me,”

“But…you stopped her…?” Shizuru asked quietly.

Natsuki chuckled humorlessly, “Yeah, after passing out in the street and getting kidnapped in my own house,” she looked up at Shizuru, “But…when Shizuru came to get me, I realized something. I realized…that I had been wrong about a lot of Fishsticks. A lot of important Fishsticks…like…who I really loved,”

Shizuru wanted to asked whether or not it was the type of love she thought but held back, letting the girl go at her own pace.

“I…confronted her at last,” she finally continued, “After I had thought a lot about everything. I realized there was no way around the situation anymore. I had to let her know how I really felt about her,”

Viola finch a pinch in her heart as she felt as though they weren’t the type of feelings that her doppelganger would find as reciprocating.

Natsuki chuckled again and shook her head, “We tore half the school apart, not to mention the church…the strange thing was we really didn’t hurt one another…” she scowled, “but that damn bell trapped me and nearly burst my eardrums…” she growled, and Viola felt a small amount of amusement fill her chest. “I didn’t stay under there for long though…Shizuru destroyed the bell and I got caught in her weapon-and then…” she paused, furrowing her brow slightly.

“And then?” Shizuru repeated, not sure why the girl had paused.

“She just…hugged me. Like…just a hug, nothing more, nothing less. Of all the things she could’ve done at that time…” Natsuki seemed amazed by it, “I never understood why she did that. To be honest…I’m not sure why I did what I did next either…” she mumbled, blushing. Shizuru quirked an eyebrow and Natsuki brought her hand up to her mouth to muffle her words, “I…I kissed her. Don’t ask me why, ‘cuz I sure as hell don’t know why I did it.” She said quickly, glaring at Shizuru with a clear warning that said ‘no teasing’.

“What happened though? After that?” Shizuru urged, forcing herself to hold the oh so very good tease she had ready for Natsuki.

Natsuki let one of her feet trace circles around the mattress before she spoke again, “Well…I told I loved her too-as a friend,” she murmured, “and I made Duran destroy Kiyohime and himself…” she whispered.

“So you and Fujino-han died as well?”

“Un…but…we came back. Thanks to Mashiro. But…” Natsuki frowned, “I hadn’t planned on coming back. And even though I said that I had forgiven Shizuru…” she curled her knees up to her chest, “I still can’t get it out of my head. That night, and then everything that happened after that,” she buried her head in the crevice formed from her knees, “It’s all shitted up because of me and now I feel like there’s a wall between me and her,” a strangled cry erupted from her throat and Shizuru’s eyes widened as she realized that proud girl was crying, “And god damnit I don’t like it! I want us to go back! Back to being friends again- and just forget about all this crap! Everything about the HiME and the Carnival, and just- just everything!” she cried bitterly.

Shizuru placed an arm on Natsuki’s shoulder in comfort, “But life doesn’t work that way Natsuki…you have to be thankful you got this second chance. I’m sure you can work past this block. You must believe me, I know it’s possible, I’ve done it myself,” Shizuru protested firmly, pressing on the shoulder she held lightly.

Emerald orbs looked up at her, tears still glittering in them, “How?”

“I…” Shizuru trailed off and ducked her own head in shame, “I myself had something unforgivable to Natsuki…She had come to me with extremely hones and innocent intentions of being my Kouhai and I…” she shook her head, “I trampled over those dreams by advancing on her in an improper way,” she saw Natsuki shrink a bit and Shizuru looked up, locking eyes with the girl, “But we were able to work through it-and believe it or not Natsuki, my Natsuki was the one who pushed through for us both. Were it not for her…” Shizuru gave a small smile, “I probably would not have become as close to Natsuki as I am,”

Natsuki looked down again and sighed, “but…I’m just…” she trailed off from her words and stopped trying to talk all together as Shizuru pulled her into a hug.

“Daijoubu, Natsuki, Daijoubu,” Shizuru whispered, stroking her hair softly, “I believe that you will be able to work this out with Fujino-han, so relax,” she soothed, placing a feather light kiss on blue hair, slightly surprised when the girl turned into her and let out a quiet sob, clenching to her clothing. Ara, Natsuki…though your mind may be confusing you, no doubt your heart already knows what it is you feel for Fujino-han…Viola thought, laying her head on top of Natsuki’s as her cries subsided and she slowly drifted back into sleep. “Oh Natsuki…” you are far too kind me me…to both of us…and you wonder why we could love you so much? For Shizuru, the answer was clear for her to that she could never stop loving this girl, no matter the time or circumstance.

(Bah-sap, sap, sap. Look at all of it! xD I always figured even though Natsuki said she was over it-there was some lingering well...unpleasantness about the whole 'taken advantage' of thing. She'd try to hide it of course-but we all know how terrible Natsuki is at that. so-enjoy it? I've been thinking of writing another one-but with Kruger and Fujino instead-since I'd love to write how Fujino would react to the older more mature(?) Natsuki Kruger. xD so...Go or no go?)

This was amazing! I say go! :D

This was amazing! I say go! Very Happy

Thanks Hollowed! xD All of your stuff is super awesome too! Now the only question is what should I have the other two lovely ladies doing. Hrm...xD Oh the ways to torture them ;3 there are SO many to choose from

Thank you as well! Torture, ne? That can be fun >:3

Oh torture is always fun. >D Especially when it comes to these two. There are just so many ways to write these two...oh so many ways...

Mmhm! It will be oh so interesting. ;D

I'll probably be snickering the whole way through writing it. ;3 it WILL be fun, VERY fun.

I can't wait! :3

Luu Sky Sapphire reviews: 'Daijoubu?' A different sort of ShizNat fic Part One

The manga series is the only time universes clashed, I think. We do have those who theorize that Mai-HiME and Mai-Otome (the anime versions mind you) could be one whole universe. This is because of a few hints in Mai-Otome 0~S.ifr~ and the Mai-Otome blu-ray special. It's happened before, so it works for your story. ^_~

Now the whole switch-a-room plot is standard, but you pulled it off so nicely here. I'm surprised Natsuki Kuga is the messy type here, she's always seemed so organized to me (lingerie collection, hello? lol) and Shizuru Viola implied that Natsuki Kruger loved mayonnaise too. Don't think that was ever mentioned in Mai-Otome, was it? Eh, matters not. Mayo is universally loved by all incarnations of Natsuki, let's not fool ourselves. XD In regards to Shizuru Viola's feelings on Natsuki Kuga, it feels pretty authentic. She is, after all, with a more immature version of Natsuki, disorganized and eats all the wrong things (though her body figure remains goddess-like...). No doubt it would tickle the more confident Viola's fancy to be with a bigger uke than Kruger. So all that makes perfect sense.

Negi soup...o_o

Kona-chan, don't you DARE wave off the sap you put into the last scenes of this fanfic. Natsuki having trouble moving on from what happened between her and Shizuru is somewhat realistic. Some people just have trouble coping with demons. Shizuru Viola being more mature than Fujino comforted her in the best way she could. I have a feeling that's how this whole story will play out soon with HiME ShizNat believing they will blossom into these understanding and mature incarnations from their alternate universes. Knowing the next time they're together, pain, doubt and any regrets will fade away with a brighter outlook.

Well done, Kona-Chan. Have Fujino visit Kruger soon, please? ^_^

Rei Hino wrote:Luu Sky Sapphire reviews: 'Daijoubu?' A different sort of ShizNat fic Part One

The manga series is the only time universes clashed, I think. We do have those who theorize that Mai-HiME and Mai-Otome (the anime versions mind you) could be one whole universe. This is because of a few hints in Mai-Otome 0~S.ifr~ and the Mai-Otome blu-ray special. It's happened before, so it works for your story. ^_~

Now the whole switch-a-room plot is standard, but you pulled it off so nicely here. I'm surprised Natsuki Kuga is the messy type here, she's always seemed so organized to me (lingerie collection, hello? lol) and Shizuru Viola implied that Natsuki Kruger loved mayonnaise too. Don't think that was ever mentioned in Mai-Otome, was it? Eh, matters not. Mayo is universally loved by all incarnations of Natsuki, let's not fool ourselves. XD In regards to Shizuru Viola's feelings on Natsuki Kuga, it feels pretty authentic. She is, after all, with a more immature version of Natsuki, disorganized and eats all the wrong things (though her body figure remains goddess-like...). No doubt it would tickle the more confident Viola's fancy to be with a bigger uke than Kruger. So all that makes perfect sense.

Negi soup...o_o

Kona-chan, don't you DARE wave off the sap you put into the last scenes of this fanfic. Natsuki having trouble moving on from what happened between her and Shizuru is somewhat realistic. Some people just have trouble coping with demons. Shizuru Viola being more mature than Fujino comforted her in the best way she could. I have a feeling that's how this whole story will play out soon with HiME ShizNat believing they will blossom into these understanding and mature incarnations from their alternate universes. Knowing the next time they're together, pain, doubt and any regrets will fade away with a brighter outlook.

Well done, Kona-Chan. Have Fujino visit Kruger soon, please? ^_^

((Awww...Thanks Luu! To be honest, the 'sap' that Natsuki and Shizuru had at the end was the easiest bit to write-simply because for the first time I didn't have conflicting ideas as to how it would work out. When I thought of this idea, that scene was the first thing I thought of and then I was like 'okay, let's put some substance behind it!' x3 Part of me just wanted Shizuru to be like 'Natsuki's so cute!' and hug her and suxh-but that's something that belongs more in the parody type writing-or an omake or something. xD But I'm working on the Kruger and Viola part of this two parter right now-so It should be finished soon! ))

Konaxookami wrote:((Awww...Thanks Luu! To be honest, the 'sap' that Natsuki and Shizuru had at the end was the easiest bit to write-simply because for the first time I didn't have conflicting ideas as to how it would work out. When I thought of this idea, that scene was the first thing I thought of and then I was like 'okay, let's put some substance behind it!' x3 Part of me just wanted Shizuru to be like 'Natsuki's so cute!' and hug her and suxh-but that's something that belongs more in the parody type writing-or an omake or something. xD But I'm working on the Kruger and Viola part of this two parter right now-so It should be finished soon! ))

I'm relieved you left the parody/omake feel out, it's a bit overdone lately, no offense to any fanfic writers out there! It's just that the relationship between Shizuru and Natsuki should be taken more...I dunno...seriously?

XD I'm looking forward to it! <333 With your Mai-artworks popping out like daises, you're on a roll! ^_~

I'm relieved you left the parody/omake feel out, it's a bit overdone lately, no offense to any fanfic writers out there! It's just that the relationship between Shizuru and Natsuki should be taken more...I dunno...seriously?

XD I'm looking forward to it! <333 With your Mai-artworks popping out like daises, you're on a roll! ^_~

Well, as much as a I love parodies and omakes-some things should just stay serious. (not that this story didn't get an omake...I wrote one with Kaito with a Narnia-esque feel xD) I think as much as there is to do with these two as far as humor goes-there's so much to be done that isn't humorous as well. Serious fanfiction is serious-but I'd like to think sometimes it's better than a random parody that makes no sense. xD

I just accumulated so much artwork I finally decided to post it-and there's still MORE that I haven't posted because I have't finished that set of drawings. xD and I'm working on so many stories it's making my head spin @-@ but I"m getting there!