Alternate: ShizNat [VIP]

reserved for:

depression76 as Shizuru
Narsilia as Natsuki

alternate timeline to the three way rpg :)

Wow... this one worked pretty well. Natsuki still couldn't believe that Shizuru had such a soft spot for puppy faces.

An exception? Well, that was good enough to stay alone for the rest of school time. She had grown already tired of several students, the hectic day and especially the gossiping. How was the lone wolf supposed to survive the whole year like that? In the last year, she's been at school only a few times, for P.E. or whenever she needed the computer network.

“This would be Natsuki’s work for today, please fold the letters and put it inside the envelope, and seal it afterwards.”

Natsuki blinked at the countless letters, sighing lowly. OH well, her plans were different, but. Yeah. Better taking care of that than hanging around with the teacher she hated and students that stared at her like an alien, right?

The slender girl slipped off the table, got a chair for herself and sat down to start "working". She was surprisingly fine with it. Different than what she had expected, but not the worst job. She would get along. And being with Shizuru in one room couldn't be such a pain, right?

Shortly, she glanced at her friend, a little smile on her lips.

"Alright. Whenever I get done here... are these invitations for the next festival already? My... time goes by..."

"Alright. Whenever I get done here... are these invitations for the next festival already? My... time goes by..."

Shizuru smiled at that.

“Time goes by quickly indeed…I can’t believe that I’ve known Natsuki for almost 5 years…it feels long does it not?” she gave her companion a warm smile before she turned back to signing the festival invitations. There were still heaps of them to go, but with the biker around, she worked faster than usual.

Even without tea in her system! How wonderful was that? Natsuki was like her own personal drug. She’s addicted to her, and would never be able to stop. Not even by going to therapy, mind you.

She chuckled softly when the endearing image of a young Natsuki in middle school came into her mind.

“And I can’t believe that Natsuki’s all grown up now…Middle school Natsuki was so cute!”

That was the closest thing the Kaichou ever got to squealing.

"5 years... true. that's really a long time..."

Natsuki sighed while she folded the papers carefully. She tried to work with system. First folding, then envelope and after that, sealing. Maybe it would go a little faster if she went like this. Pff, lone wolf and system. What a laugh, she even smiled about it herself. the one, who couldn't even keep her dorm room clean!

“And I can’t believe that Natsuki’s all grown up now…Middle school Natsuki was so cute!”

C.U.T.E. ...

That term was like a hammer, hit on the girl'S head. She quivered and looked up with an annoyed expression.

"I wasn't cute, I'm not cute and I will NEVER, I say, NEVER be cute - Shizuru!"

Huffing in disbelief, she went on with her work. Cute. Natsuki. Ooooh sure. And pigs were able to fly. Tch.

The brunette didn’t stop and admit that she’ll give in to Natsuki’s argument though. A hand moved as fast as lightning and fish out her light purple phone.

“but Natsuki is cute! Here—“ she flip open her phone and showed the biker her wallpaper “see?”

It was a picture of the Middle School Natsuki sleeping on her desk during one tutorial night with Shizuru. The latter likes it so much she took a snapshot of it and made it her own personal wallpaper. It’s that endearing!

And of course, being one who’s always ready before things happen—she had saved another hundreds of copies at her pc at home—away from certain someone’s reach of course. Pictures like these should be immortalized to the end of time, this would be a nice blackmail material over the lone wolf of Fuuka.

‘Ara, sneaky Shizuru, fufufu’.

All the while—she also showed Natsuki what she has on her hidden ‘Natsuki Picture Folder’ in her galleries. Her secret portable shrine as you can say, pictures from the past that never failed to make her smile.

And right now-- she's downright grinning broadly.

Curiosity killed the cat as Natsuki peered over, only to see... THIS?

Her face flushed into deep crimson.

"WHAT THE...??"

Jumping up from the chair, it only took a single dash and the girl was in Shizuru'S reach, trying to grab the phone.

"I CAN'T believe it!"

Snarling and fuming over that simple action, she snatched the phone, staring in disbelief at the photo her friend had taken secretly. Somehow... she felt embarrassed, betrayed, but also moved. Her fingers shook while dark emerald eyes fixed the wallpaper of her younger self, seeming so lost in dreams with a peaceful appearance. She never has been like that. It was the first image of herself being like that.

Somehow, dealing with that fact was... hell.

Shizuru was chuckling softly and happily behind a raised hand, eyes gazing gently at the rapid change of emotion on Natsuki’s face. She didn’t mind showing her private collection at all—even if Natsuki tried to erase them, they’re locked with passwords that only the Kaichou knows about anyway. Fufufu.

It’s her win.

“I’m sorry,” was said after her laughter subsided. Shizuru had taken the long silence as rage from Natsuki’s end “I couldn’t help myself. Natsuki looked very peaceful when asleep and I—“

And Shizuru, who was head over heels over the girl, didn’t know what to do but took a shot of that face. The young girl who had approached her back with caution had wormed her way inside Shizuru’s heart in no time at all and she wanted to drown herself in everything Natsuki.

It might be creepy, but what can a girl do?

People do stupid things when they’re in love.

And in her case, she still did—even after 5 years later, and she’s nearing adulthood.

"...I couldn't help it." a voice filled with affection and a hint of longing that she tried to hide managed to slipped through.

The longer she stared at the photo, the more miserable she felt. All the memories about the past, Shizuru being the only who actually cared about her while she locked all the others out of her heart...

Natsuki bit her bottom lip, squinting her eyes tightly, as if she wanted to hold something back. Unwanted emotions. Maybe tears. The urge to strangle Shizuru for that as well - even if this thought didn't even last a mere second.

"...I couldn't help it."

The tone itself... it brought chills down the girl'S spine. No. Not that again. Please. Natsuki's shoulders slumped as she left out a deep sigh.

Her eyes shot open over the longing undertone, and she barely turned her head, she could watch her friend only out of the corner of her eyes.

"Shi...zu...ru...?"

“Ah—“ and just like that, Shizuru was a tad too slow in realizing that her mask slipped in front of Natsuki. That was bad…this would not end good. She struggled to wear her mask back, and it just hit her at that moment that for some strange reason, it became increasingly hard to keep up a false front in front of the biker.

After the truth and everything that was hidden had come to light.

“Yes? What was that Natsuki?”

The smiling façade was back again as once more the Kaichou continued moving her hand and do her work as though trying to get her mind off her inner turmoil. It took her a while…but something like this…it should not happen again.

“You want a copy of the picture? Fufufu…”

Her voice was level and closely guarded, and from that enough, the sharpest person would have been able to know that something was going on. but then again—Natsuki wasn’t always the brightest puppy of the pack.

As if a mask was going to fall off as well from Natsuki's face, she didn'T show her expression yet. And no matter, how much Shizuru tried to pretend that everything was fine and no reason to worry over it... Natsuki surely was dumb at some emotional levels... but right now, she caught the meaning.

"You... have that photo for so long? ... And that only..."

As she turned around, a single tear had escaped her control, slowly sliding down her cheek.

"... because it's me?"

Natsuki swallowed hard, forcing down the huge bile in her throat. Her walk was slow, like in trance as she moved to the table, placing the cellphone carefully on the wooden surface.

She barely looked up when she shoved it into her friend's direction.

"I'm not... even worth it, so... why?"

The girl closed her eyes, hiding that deep emerald green behind sensitive skin. A storm was raging in the depth of green hues, she just... didn'T want to show it like that.

It hurt her to see Natsuki cry. Was it her fault? Shizuru didn’t deal with a crying Natsuki that oftenly, and she could feel herself panicking…but what she did next was just out of instinct.

A hand rose up and gently wiped away the tear.

“Natsuki is worth it.” came her soft voice “Natsuki is important to me, that’s why. That photo was also something that I cherish.”

The hand against the cheek was trembling with emotion.

“Please don’t cry.”

She hoped this wouldn’t make Natsuki run away. This person in front of her was vulnerable, and that was why her fight or flight mechanism might kicked in any moment now. The Kaichou mentally berated herself for not thinking before she showed that picture to her friend.

For some reason, she's been acting slightly out of it today. Must be because of this morning...

At first, Natsuki flinched at the light contact, but she forced herself to stay calm and hold still. The touch, and even Shizuru's words made her inner walls crumble down, more and more.

If no more stone was left. It was going to be long and painful, that much was clear. But right now... she could see through this hole. Natsuki could look outside. The feeling blinded her mentally, as her tears.

“Please don’t cry.”

"... how can I... even stop now... Shizuru...", the girl whispered, leaning against her friend's arm with full intention. She started to feel the touch with all her senses, not anymore with rejection and fear.

"Just... tell me. How?"

Her voice sounded rough and trembled with all the chaos inside herself as she moved her own hand to Shizuru's, long and slender fingers hushed along the back of her friend's hand. She didn't dare grasping it yet.

Shizuru’s panicking inwardly right now.

Whatever should she do?

Natsuki’s touch on her hand was sending all kinds of feelings to her and—she couldn’t think straight. And just like that, the Kaichou pushed out of her seat and pulled the younger girl in to her embrace. She didn’t know what else to do. This was what came first into mind

“I…I don’t know.” She was never good at calming people down, except if they’re her fangirls.

Calming Natsuki down when she’s crying, especially in this case, was new to her.

Shizuru just acted without really thinking, hands stroking the midnight blue hair gently as she soothes the younger girl. She knew that she had to stay away, but for this moment, it’s an exception. The two stayed in that awkward position for a while, until Shizuru could feel Natsuki’s soft sobs dying down.

The embrace was something she didn't expect for now. Her insides rebelled, but one part of her WANTED to feel how an embrace like this felt like. Slowly, she brought herself closer, eventually wrapping her arms around her friend. Her body shook like a leaf, she still couldn't decide whether to run or to stay, letting herself fall and give in.

Natsuki felt like a little kid who had to learn things from a new. Speaking, walking - all of it on emotional base. Most likely she compared it with a prisoner who just found a key to his freedom. Would he open it up and step outside? After many years of darkness? Or would he rather stay inside, where he knew himself safe, but caged in.

"Shizuru..."

Her voice was a mere whisper as she started to lean her head against her counterpart's shoulder, buried her face into the jacket.

Yes, Natsuki felt ashamed, but especially hit by that ... flood... of emotions crushing her like gigantic waves.

"Shizuru..."

Said girl stiffened when Natsuki buried her face deeper into her hold.

Uh oh.

The older girl schooled her expression and did everything in her power to stop herself from pulling a stupid that would break this moment. But but—Natsuki felt so good in her arms...and the feeling right now was very different compared to that day, when they died in each other’s arms.

The older girl felt like crying too.

Not from sadness, no.

From happiness.

“Is Natsuki alright?” the hand was still shaky and was still gently stroking the dark blue hair of the girl in her arms. Truth be told, she could get used to this. It’s not every day the biker would let herself be hugged like this, and she kind of hoped that this moment would last forever.

"I'm sorry....I made Natsuki cry."

That picture...she didn't know it would cause this much of emotional outbreak.

Natsuki couldn'T tell when she felt like that for the last time. So broken, destroyed, sad, but yet - comfortable. Being in someone's arms always had overstrained her senses to an certain amount.

This time... well, the girl couldn't describe at all. As good as it felt to just let go and melt into another body, it also frightened her. Squinting her eyes, the dark-haired girl inhaled the scent of Shizuru'S jacket. Her friend used to wear this perfume she couldn't tell, which one it was exactly. Usually she did a good job telling this, but... this one had the appearance of being ixed by costumer's request.

Her sobs softened down as she only focused on the smell, the warmth embracing her. Everything was so strange. Just... why? Why did her insides break out like that? Right now, she didn't understand herself anymore. Just... that photo. Her flashbacks of being the girl, all alone without someone to hold on.

And then there was Shizuru, accepting her open arms, always being so kind - except her teasing antics from time to time. Did she ever tell her friend, how grateful she was to have her around? A short answer. No, she didn't.

It made her feel guilty. Always taking, never giving anything back.

"I'm sorry....I made Natsuki cry."

Natsuki looked up, strands of slate-blue hair covered her eyes. She wiped them away, clearing her throat. The girl'S eyes were reddened though, people could tell that she had cried.

"... you don'T have to be sorry...", the lone wolf whispered, still grabbing a light hold of her friend's jacket. Why she didn't let go yet... she didn't know.

"Also... you don't have to understand this... to be honest, I don't understand myself right now..."

Her voice trembled a little from the last happening, so did her fingers as she removed them, smoothing out the folds on the jacket.

"I don't understand how... such an image can make me cry. But when I see it, I don't even see myself in it..."

Chewing her bottom lip, the girl turned her head to the side. Her instincts started to take control again, making her act "normal". Whatever "normal" was going to be right now. It was shame. She was ashamed of showing herself so... weak.

Natsuki might not be able to see herself in the picture, but for Shizuru, who knew her beloved inside and out, she could still see it. The lonely girl from 5 years ago has been hidden deep inside which only came out when they’re alone. The biker might not see it, but there were still remnants of her in the past.

“Natsuki is being melancholic,” she said gently with a small smile, her fingers ran through the luxurious blue hair carefully “it happens when one come across something of the past.”

And this picture…probably has the heaviest impact of Natsuki, because it conveys just how much difference time would make to a person. Back then, they were happy—with nothing burdening them, and they were still normal girls with normal problems. And then fast forward to the present, where Gods played a hand in their Fate, and a battle royale between friends, and precious people were lost.

Truthfully, Shizuru understood how heavy the symbolism was…but she kept quiet.

“Would Natsuki like some tea?” she pulled back a little and pat the younger girl’s cheek softly “it would calm you down, I’m sure.” The caffeine in the drink works pretty much as a sedative. And it just won’t do if the younger girl returned to her class with puffy red eyes and sniffing. Natsuki needed to calm down first, and with that, the older girl pulled away gently and had her friend sat back down before she prepared a cup of warm tea.

It didn’t took long for her to get it ready, and next thing they knew, the biker was nursing the warm cup in between her hands, with gentle Shizuru gazing worriedly.

Rubbing her eyes, Natsuki tried her best finding back into a more neutral condition. Shizuru's care actually helped much more than she had expected. Well, usually she would have taken a step back, starting startled or annoyed at her friend, but not this time.

Things really got different, did they?

“Natsuki is being melancholic,”

The dark-haired student snorted lightly at it, watching Shizuru's fingers running through her hair. Hiding her gaze from the world, she sighed lowly and lowered her eyelids.

//... never thought it would affect me so much...//

Words died inside her mind before she could even say them out loud. Silence was highly preferred for now.

“Would Natsuki like some tea?”

The addressed girl nodded slightly, quivering a little at the touch. Her cheeks felt hot and she didn't know if Shizuru would notice it. Well, of COURSE she would. Maybe she blamed that on the crying from before, but it was clearly some embarrassment as well. Maybe something else? No. Clearly the embarrassment, since Natsuki even wasted a single thought on the tickling feel of skin on skin.

Slowly, she moved away, right to her working space where she sat down, flipping idly through the invitations. She still needed to finish that, right? It would distract her too.

As Shizuru offered the tea, she took it with a grateful expression, warming her chilly hands on it. The girl didn'T know why, but her hands always became icy when she felt uneasy. The hot cup soothed her, so did the first sip.

"Thank you, Shizuru..."

Too many thoughts haunted the lone wolf's mind. But right now... she couldn't express them. And over all, she DIDN'T want to express them. Her feelings were very unpredictable that day, and every other trigger would have turned her into a loose cannon. Stay focused, she muttered to herself, stay focused.

"Thank you, Shizuru..."

Natsuki’s voice was filled with gratitude, and if she’s not seeing this right now with her own eyes, Shizuru would never have believed that the usually confrontational biker was timid…and….was looking very adorable after crying.

The kaichou shook her head with a small smile.

“It’s alright, Natsuki.” Carefully, she tidied the paper aside and made some space on the table in front of her old friend “do you want to rest a little?” she’s still worried. It’s not every day Natsuki broke down like this.

This plan of having Natsuki work with her in the council was starting to kick her back in her behind. She didn’t know that it would turn this way. The brunette should have realized that with them spending so much time together, more than usual, would mean that of course—things would branch out to the emotional side. And well—they usually ignore it, because they didn’t want to put their already shaky relationship in jeopardy.

As though on cue—Shizuru’s hand bumped into a stack of invitations and made them fall down across the desk once more.

‘Lover’s retreat’ the paper said in red bold, as though shouting to her.

Ah.

Yeah—she forgot about that.

It’s a festival, focusing on couples and lovers.

If only…

If only…

Her eyes hazed and the longing slipped through…but the older girl said nothing before she tidied the paper and put it aside. Even though she couldn’t go with Natsuki to that festival as lovers, she’d be as happy if the dark haired girl would come along as her company.

Distracting herself with sealing half of the letters, she heard Shizuru'S voice far away from her system. Rest? Hm... actually, she didn't really feel like it, why would she even need some?

"Thanks for the offer, but no. I'm going to finish that work. Resting only destroys the motivation..."

Her voice was a low babbling as she took another filled envelope to seal.

Right at this moment, she only saw a flood of letters, falling to the ground. The dark-haired girl shook her head, rising from the chair she moved over to help her friend. Shizuru also seemed to be distracted by something. Her eyes told that much.

The lone wolf picked up the invitations. Mhm... Lover's retreat? Tipping her head to the side, she only stared at the red lettering, then at Shizuru. She surely would fine someone to go there, wouldn't she? Any guy - or girl would die to join Fujino.

"Clumsy woman...", she muttered, even allowing herself a little smile over spoken words.

“Sorry,” Shizuru apologized with a small sigh as she took back the stack of paper that Natsuki retrieved from the floor. It’s not like her to be clumsy like this. She’s just off today—because of Natsuki’s earlier breakdown…and this lovers retreat.

Noticing that the atmosphere was lighting up because of her clumsiness, and because the biker has calmed down because of the tea, Shizuru opted to change topics. She continued her work as she goes, however, wouldn’t want to keep Natsuki here too long would she?

“Are you coming to the lovers retreat, Natsuki?”

If she’s not wrong, the last time there was a festival, her younger friend here skipped on it. Being a lone wolf, the biker hated festivities or something that would mean that hordes of people would come together. Shizuru herself was planning to skip the festival if she wasn’t told to attend it because she’s the president of the council. Without a lover to call her own, would it not be awkward to attend something like that?

Yes, she did know that she has admirers…but there would always be one whose heart she longs for.

And that person…right here…was probably clueless about all this.

"No need to apologize, Shizuru..."

Natsuki'S words were surprisingly soft-spoken as she helped putting the last pile back on the table. So, that was done. Next job.

Taking a seat again, the girl developed some routine to her task. Well, she would really fit into the council once she had a job she needed to do. Also, she didn't do that herself, mostly to help Shizuru and ah: Skipping classes. For now, she even had an excuse for that! Wasn't it just perfect. It didn't come to her mind that she still had to study the things she couldn't attend to. But once she would actually take notice, it was too late. Fuck life, that's how it went on.

“Are you coming to the lovers retreat, Natsuki?”

Natsuki looked up, a clearly defined expression of surprise on her face.

"Nani?"

She ruffled her hair, not sure what to reply at the moment.

"Uhm... I didn't really... plan to do that. You know, I'm not a fan of festivals...", she started with an undefined mumble, resting her chin on her hands, "... that crap kinda bores me. Also..."

Natsuki closed her eyes and sighed.

"It's called 'LOVER'S retreat' and not 'LONER'S retreat'..."

At that—Shizuru burst out laughing.

Honest to goodness laughing. Not the soft ones that she usually hid behind a raised hand, but the belly laughter that has her eyes scrunched up and not holding it back. She did not expect Natsuki to say that—that’s why it took her with surprise.

“Ara…” she wiped a tear off her eyes “that was funny…Natsuki’s pretty clever.”

She giggled a bit as she moved her finished work to clasped her hands together “but ne, if you go with someone it won’t be a loner’s retreat right?” quelling down the longing and want, the wishful thinking, the Kaichou effortlessly smiled.

“You should ask someone to come along with you, Natsuki. The council had prepared great things for that night—it would be very enjoyable, I’m sure.”

Except for the ones without lovers though, and that means her as well.

But Shizuru would be too busy patrolling the festival and making sure that everything works well to be rendezvousing with anyone anyway. That’s why she told her friend to find someone.

Someone that’s not her.

The look that Shizuru received from Natsuki right now, was undefinable at it's finest. Eyes widened in surprise AND SHOCK! Now... really. That was a happening which only was supposed to happen once in a decade - Shizuru laughing like THAT??

the lone wolf struggled hard to maintain her composure. It left her completely in wonders. What day was it today? and especially - what the hell was in Shizuru's tea? She started to worry.

“that was funny…Natsuki’s pretty clever.”

"eeeeeeeeegh... just sayin' ..."

She bumped her head against the wooden table, groaning in light pain and overstrained senses.

As she looked up again, the girl rubbed her forehead. Damn, this table was pretty hard. Weren't they in general? Ooh... screw that.

“You should ask someone to come along with you, Natsuki. The council had prepared great things for that night—it would be very enjoyable, I’m sure.”

Ask. Someone. Had she gone crazy after all???

Natsuki dahsed backwards in her seat like she just looked into the eyes of the devil.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT? I mean, WHO should I even ask??"

//Say Takeda and I think about killing you...//

She palmed her face. Oh. Dear.

Should she answer that question?

Something like a teasing smile came on the sneaky Kaichou’s face.

“Araaaa….whom I wonder…”

Red eyes twinkled playfully as she opened her mouth.

Should she say it? Natsuki would probably smack her a good one for that—or or worse, she would be mad and not talk to Shizuru for weeks like that time when she found out about the panty-flashing incident with the ex- captain of the Kendo club.

She opted for something else.

A sigh was let out “mmm…I wonder…Takeda-kun isn’t here anymore, right?”

Shizuru’s courageous, that she knows. Not many people would have the guts to say that person’s name while smirking while sitting across the lone wolf of Fuuka with many, many blunt things in her reach. But still, Takeda-kun was the only male who Shizuru knew that has a crush on the dark haired biker. There were others, of course, but all were nameless and as far as she knows, would stay nameless unless Natsuki placed an interest in them.

Which the Kaichou selfishly hoped she won’t.

Was it wrong to monopolize Natsuki’s affection? Like what she has been doing for years?
Shizuru would undoubtedly step back if Natsuki ever give the signals that she liked someone else…and that’s why, until that day comes, she’ll keep it this way.