It's All Coming Back To Me (An original piece)

I figured it'd be a change of scenery to post a story that wasn't otome/hime. It's yuri though- so if you dislike that (which I doubt on here xD) stop now ne? Totally inspired by the song of the same name by Celine Dion. xD almost 7,000 words of writing-long enough to match how long the song is in real life too. The characters are Ichigo, Haruki, Kyoko, and Kizuna. Most Ichigo and Haruki though- (This IS from Ichigo's prespective and all that jazz.) I'd fill you in on the gorey details of these guys, but I'll only do that if you need me to explain something that confused you. Which it might. So-Enjoy?
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Damn…how long had it been? How long since I’d seen your sly hazel eyes, your soft chocolate locks? How long since I’m heard your laugh, or witnessed your smile. Fuuka…It’s been a while hasn’t it. A long while. Well…I can’t say I haven’t seen you. It’s impossible for me to say that. You’re so damn famous it almost hurts. It hurts for me to watch you act, because I know just how fake all those expressions are. It hurts in my now almost nonexistent heart. Heh…figures I’d regret it after it was over?

We’d broken up long ago. Damn…how long has it been? We were 18, and so blind. I’m 27 now. I can barely remember those 9 years going by now. I can acutely remember the 5 years of bliss we shared at the Academy however. I can honestly admit I’ve tried to forget however. I don’t want to remember all those foolishly naive times we had together. All that time…We’ve been apart now long than we were together. I can say that is a honest accomplishment.

I don’t remember why it happened though. I’d gone to Kyoko, talked to Kizuna…hell, even to that idiot Hotaru. We were so perfect together…I thought we were invincible. We’d survived. We’d gotten through hell and back and had even talked of tying the proverbial knot. So how had it gone down? I suppose after all this time I simply want to forget everything and never go back. Never get into that place again.

I’ve been busy. So have you. Kendo is tough, and I have my fair share of scars and wounded bones to attribute to that. I can recall with a sad smile all the times you’d kiss the bruises like a mother, and then give me a reproving look at my apparent clumsiness. That look wouldn’t stay though. It’d be another moment before you were pinning me to the bed, promising to take all the pain away in a more appropriate manner for lovers. Damnitdamnitdamnit-STOP. I’m not supposed to remember moment like that.

We both got what we wanted though. You’re just about one of the most well known actresses of our time. I’m one of the heads of the national woman’s Kendo team. You’ve gotten Academy Awards, and I’ve gotten International Titles. You’d always joked that since Kendo was little known I’d never make it the Olympics. Yeah well…I’m pretty damn close to making it on the Olympic team for Saber Fencing so there. I’m gonna make it just to prove you wrong.

We always did that too didn’t we? We’d always compete to see who’d do better. Right now I can’t truly say. I’ve seen the reviews for your movies. You always were a drama queen. It’d figure you’d be so good at your job. I’d never doubted you’d make it big. I hope you don’t mind that I haven’t watched a single one. Oh, it’s been given that I’ve seen all the previews, and Kyoko and Kizuna have begged me to come see the opening nights with them but I’ve always refused. You’d called me stubborn as a bull didn’t you?

I still refuse to move on my decision to not interfere with your life. I refuse to. Hell if I ruin your life more than I already have… Wait…when did I ruin it? Oh…yeah…Now I remember. We started drifting. I can’t remember how it started though. I got so busy with Kendo, and you were so busy looking for a decent school with the classes you wanted. You had big dreams, I had a single goal. Kendo was my life outside of you. It was my first passion and my release of all my feelings. The first time we argued about me not wanting to move far from the Academy because of a well known Kendo prefecture team was the start of it I think. We pushed and pulled, but we refused to budge. You wanted to move far away, and I wanted to stay with my roots.

I dived further into Kendo, spending most of my free time with my blade and armor. You started spending more time on your art. We rarely were intimate. We wouldn’t talk before falling asleep anymore. Any dates we planned simply turned into awkward moments. Kyoko and Kizuna even tried to stop the gap from growing, but to no avail. If we talked it was an argument. We didn’t kiss or hug for 6 months. I spent my vacation days in the dojo or with Kyoko when she’d forcibly drag me out into the real world. I can remember the night after graduation clearly. That was the night it ended didn’t it?

We were laying in bed-clothed. Hadn’t we spoke of having the best night of our lives after our graduation? We didn’t. We didn’t even hold hands. But we stared at each other. Lime green to hazel. You spoke first.

“I’m going to Kyoto to study theatre,” you announced quietly, your eyes silently pleading me for some sort of similar answer. I couldn’t deliver.

“The prefecture team scouted me out here. I’m staying here to train with the team,” I answered with an even tone. I saw you flinch, and somewhere in me I thought I felt my heartstrings tug.

“I see…So you aren’t going move away…” you muttered, as if trying to process the data in your mind. It was a simple fact for me; it was a complex theorem for you.

“Nope. I’m staying put. But good luck with your studies Haruki, really. You’ve always had the talent,” I awkwardly tried to sooth. My words were honest, I just wish back then I’d accompanied them with a touch of some sort.

You were upset though, “So that’s it then. ‘Good luck’ you say. Good luck my freakin’ ass, whatever happened to ‘don’t worry I’m going to visit and everything?’” you snapped harshly, glaring at me with teary eyes.

I felt like a dumbass, as I remember it. I had such a confused look on my face. I couldn’t believe that you were so upset. We’d grown so far apart I hadn’t expected the strange emotion or surprise and longing to well up. “It’s…you’re going to be busy studying, and I’ll be traveling constantly, so I don’t think there will be a ‘I’ll see you’,” I explained. I was being honest. I knew there wasn’t a chance I’d be able to see you as much as I ‘d like want to. I suppose I was trying to justify the long months I had been slowly cutting myself off from you.

“oh, so you aren’t going to try? I understand,” you growled, hand clenching the pillow above you.

I was stupid, I should have said something more tactful, something more meaningful than what I did. I deserved the slap that had followed my words, “Why should I try for something that’s not going to work out?” I had asked, and I was honestly shocked by the hard slap that hit my cheek, and your fierce tears. I hated it when you cried. It made guilt so much harder to deal with.

“I Komugiraffe love you, you idiot!” You cried loudly, “I never stopped loving you! You said you wouldn’t either-so why…? Why are you…” you trailed off, sobs racking your body. I reached out for you, trying to provide some sort of comfort but you slapped me away. “No! It’s too late for that now Ichigo-It’s Too Komugiraffe late!” you shouted, and then bore your eyes into mine. I suppose I must’ve had some sort of feeling akin to love in my eyes somewhere since it only brought on more tears. “I want the old Ichigo back. The one who put me above her sport-the one who I fell in love with. The one who loved me back!” you sobbed, a hand shakily stroking my injured cheek, “But it would seem to me that she doesn’t exist in you anymore,” No no no, that isn’t true! “So I suppose this is goodbye Ichigo. Good Night,” you hiccupped softly, turning from me and promptly going silent. I was too stunned to move. By the time morning came- you were gone.

That first month after I was frantic trying to find you. I was a mess. I almost lost my chance with the team-before Kyoko kicked my ass into trying again. I dove into my sport again-I was trying to do anything to keep you out my mind. Everything to forget. Train, train, train. Fight, fight, fight. Win, win win.

I remember when you got your first big hit. I always knew your first film would be a blockbuster. But it stung to watch you kiss a man in the preview. I stung good and hard to see you smiling at someone. I was jealous. Kyoko helped me through that phase too. After that I started dating again. I wanted to piss you off. I wanted you to see me acting happy without you. I wanted you as jealous as I’d gotten. I knew me and my boyfriend made the cover of a few different sports magazines. He was a teammate of mine. It was as if we were a power duo. It wouldn’t work though.

He put it pretty well the night we broke up, ‘It’s as if you’re always looking over my shoulder for someone to be watching, and when you look at me it’s as if you’re searching for someone else,’ He’d stunned me with those words, but he smiled and patted me on the head affectionately and gave me kind words, ‘I hope whoever it is that you were looking for in me is good enough for you Ichigo, since you seem so ardent in searching for her.’ I tried to deny the fact it was in fact a girl, but the whole team knew it. They were supportive. They were acceptive; they never let it leak to the tabloids about my sexuality. They were my support beam.

It made me wonder if you had one while I was gone. I had heard you’d dabbled in dating but I’d never heard of any real relationships from your side of the famous folk. I knew you and our two Kôhai still got together regularly, so they must’ve been you’re support. I myself still got together with them when I could. They were always tactful enough to hide any pictures with you in them though when I was over. Kyoko had told me that you didn’t mind seeing my picture though. I suppose that figures. You never let things go.

I think it was their anniversary party that got me to finally confront you. I always went to their parties. It was must, seeing they were my only link to my happy past and my only constant family. You normally missed their parties due to your filming schedule and other such things. You always made it up to them though. I made my stand in the matter by always being at the parties, whether it meant missing a match or otherwise. I knew the brats needed at least one of us there. Of all their new friends we were the only ones to have known why the date was so important to them. It was important to us too. We’d all made it out of there alive. So I can understand why they always beg us both to be there. Of course we never would. It was our unspoken vow for us to never be at the same party. The two of them respected that vow. I don’t think I have to ask if you’ll come or not anymore though. You never came.

I wasn’t going to be too dressy either, for this party. I rarely dressed up anyhow. I suppose a pair of skin-hugging gray jeans, a gray tank top and a button down black shirt is as formal as I’ll get nowadays unless they force me into a skirt or a dress for some award ceremony. I had thrown on a couple of trinkets too. Even that leather necklace with the silver wings charm you gave me. Gods…I haven’t worn this thing in so damn long. I used to wear it as a good luck charm during matches, but the guys on the team teased me out of that habit quickly enough. Let’s see…A leather wrist belt and a beaded bracelet on the other wrist. Yup. Formal as I’ll get. I rolled the sleeves of my shirt up too, and unbuttoned almost all but the middle two. Geez…I must’ve looked like I was looking for a date or something.

Once I got to the party I was greeted by the two of them and I graced them with my presence for a while before I left them to talk to some of their newer friends and some other high-school pals. I myself went to the far side of the room, leaning back against one of their end tables casually. They always pushed all their furniture to the sides to make a dance floor on their anniversary. They even got a stage this year. Gods…I suppose the 10th is rather big for them. Ah well-I’ll go up there if they ask me to speak, but I highly doubt I’ll be leaving my post unless I need to grab another beer. At the rate I’ve been nursing this one though, that shouldn’t be for another hour. I took a glance down and frowned. Scratch that last thought, maybe in half hour. I didn’t really feel like getting up though. I was all too comfortable in my state of near buzzed-ness leaning against the table. Nights like this were far and in between. I was almost constantly in practice or traveling for team matches, so nights where I could relax and simply grab a few drinks were a blessing.

A sigh escaped my lips and I ran a hand through my short hair. I had cut it since high school, I found it less annoying in my helmet when it barely scraped past the top of my jaw line. The front was still a bloody mess of bangs though, as were the sides. I guess I never had the guts to totally change my hair, seeing as you so often loved to brush my bangs aside or play with them. I suppose I’m a sap. Ah well, sue me for it. I’ve tried to banish everything of you from my mind, so spare me the thought of keeping my sanity and peace of mind by keeping my hair the way you liked it…somewhat. I chuckled lightly at the thought-You always thought I’d look good with long hair. A smirk found its way to my face and I couldn’t fight the snickering that followed it. I suppose even now I was trying to make you upset. I choked on my laughter when I heard an all too missed voice.

“What’s so amusing?” You asked, you’re voice even more pure and light than I could remember. I sucked in a breath and refused to look at you, instead staring down at my drink, “or was it some random bout of drunkenness?” you continued, seeming slightly amused by that prospect.

I took a sip from my bottle and allowed myself a smirk, “Nah…I don’t plan on getting drunk for at least another 4 hours. As for funny…” I took another sip, “you probably wouldn’t find the humor in it,” I wonder how my voice sounds to you? It’s a bit deeper, a bit less energetic. Is it gruff? I hope not-I’ve tried not to growl too much.

“Really?” You muse, and I hum softly in response, “Well then, I suppose I failed at striking up a conversation didn’t I?” you muse again, sighing softly. I hear a bit of nervousness in your voice. Well…we haven’t spoke in so long. I suppose it would make sense, right?

“I suppose so,” I answer, and we remain in silence for a while as I quietly sip my drink. “You would think I’d have something to say…after all this time, but I can’t think of anything,” I admitted softly.

“Really?” I hum again, “Yeah…I know the feeling. I had this whole tirade I was going to say to you if I ever saw you again in person, but I can’t remember a word of it now,” you add, almost sheepishly.

I manage a chuckle, “It probably had something to do with my lack of respect of your wishes, my pigheadedness, idiocy, and a few other of my less admirable qualities,” I joked casually, meaning every word of it. I knew I drove you into a corner. It was my fault after all.

You laughed and it almost brings me to tears with its carefree tune, “You always put yourself down like that, didn’t you? I see you haven’t cured yourself of that old habit, ne Ichigo?” you teased right back, my name slipping effortlessly from your lips. I can’t help but look at you now. I suck in a deep breath at the sight. You’re hair was still past your midsection but tonight it had a slight curl to it, a bounce. It was pulled back out of your face and behind your ears, which had a pair of diamond earrings in them tonight. Casual be damned you were wearing a pale blue dress that clung to your top half before drifting across the bottom half. This showed off only a small almost of your ample amount of cleavage. I was cut off in my elevator look however as her hand came across my cheek in a fierce slap.

I remained silent for a moment before holding my injured cheek with a sigh, “I deserved that,” I admitted evenly, opening eyes I hadn’t realized I closed to glance at her hazel eyes again. I straightened and gave her body another quick look. Being as awkward as the situation was I could only blurt out, “You look good,” it took a moment to realize the almost five different meanings that phrase could have before I fixed it, “Well I mean-you look well. Like healthy and stuff,” I added quickly. I felt so damn awkward. What was it about you that did that to me?

You gave me an amused look and nodded, “You too. Healthy. You’ve been keeping in shape, though I think it wouldn’t be very good for you to do otherwise,” you took a sip of champagne from the glass you had and continued, “considering your profession.”

“Ah…” I nodded dumbly. I felt idiotic. I was normally so good around people. I could give straight answers. Around you though…damn, my mind just goes blank. I suppose 9 years could do this to a girl. “I feel ridiculous,” I admitted sheepishly, grinning slightly, “Like a teenager or something,”

“Really?” You glance up at me and raise an eyebrow, “A teenager. We haven’t been teenagers for a long time now Ichigo,” you remind casually. You swirl your glass for a moment and probe, “Ever get into a relationship?”

I winced, “Ah…you heard about that huh?” I grumbled, “Yeah…though we could hardly call it that. We never really did anything-We barely kissed. He was more like my brother than a boyfriend,” I relayed, remembering his words once more. “What about you? Any sort of Hollywood hunk sweep you off your feet?” I asked, masking my fear of the answer.

“Actually no. I haven’t really committed to any real relationships. Nothing beyond what I’d need for films and getting around,” you answered, and I could hear the blatant truth in that statement. I don’t think I could hide the relief I felt at that moment. You seemed to notice it. “Ichigo…you’re different,” you commented.

I blinked and rose a eyebrow, “How so?”

“You’re much quieter. I don’t think you’ve ever been this calm before, so you’ve cooled down. And you seem to look more mature, as if you’ve seen the world,” You answered bluntly.

“Well, I have seen the world,” I replied, “as have you. Though I’m sure you’ve gotten to explore it more thoroughly than me,” I reminded her. Taking a deep swig of my drink I replied to her, “you’ve changed too. You’re far more quiet than ever. The fact that the whole room isn’t swirling around you proves that much,” I told, slightly teasing you.

“I suppose. But when I’m here I tend to make sure I don’t have everyone’s attention,” you answer quietly, “I get enough of that at all the other parties.” You took a sip of your drink and glanced up at me, “I see you still have you’re dry sense of humor,”

“I see you’re still teasing back,” I whispered, a small smile lighting up my face. Perhaps all these years hadn’t changed everything. Just perhaps…

“ Then I suppose it must be reflex,” you countered casually, “Because I was not doing it intentionally,” Ouch…that stung a bit, the way you said that so detached.

“In any case…how’s work been going for you?” I switched the movement of the conversation, almost giving myself whiplash with it. Inwardly I hit myself over the head with the clumsy change.

“Fine I suppose. Hardly any free time though. I’m almost always on the move. I’m thinking of taking a couple of months of from movies simply to relax though,” you answer in a tired voice, “My manager will probably throw a fit though…but he doesn’t own me, so he can’t really do anything about it,” you end almost fiercely, sticking your chin out with pride. I had to smile at this. Even after all these years your pride hasn’t changed any. It’s no small wonder that you’re so famous, so rich now. You don’t let anyone boss you around. It’s something I miss…our once so very normal banter on what we were going to do, or how we were going to do it. You must’ve noticed my dreamy smile and rose a eyebrow, “Something interesting in what I said Ichigo?” you asked almost curtly, but I could see the faint flush on your cheeks.

I allow myself a laugh and shook my head, “Nah…just…reminiscing,” I answered, suddenly feeling as though just the thought of the memories hurt. I furrowed my brow and hunched over. I didn’t deserve to be talking to you. Be joking with you. I never did. I’m such a freakin’ ass…
“Ichigo?” You whispered, worry and fear edging into your voice. No no no! You shouldn’t worry about me! You shouldn’t be caring about me! I raise my eyes to meet yours, which seemed to think you said something wrong.

I shook my head and smiled sadly, “I’m so sorry Haruki. Truly, I am,” I whispered hoarsely, “I was such an ass…”

Your eyes widen for a slight moment before a chuckle erupts from your throat, “I never really expected you to apologize Ichigo…I really didn’t deserve one,” I moved to protest and you stop me, “don’t even start Ichigo-I should apologize. I was stupid back then,” you protested, “we were stupid back then.”

I swallowed, “Yeah…we were…” I managed to croak. I couldn’t help but hear all the hidden meanings in that phrase. We were never meant to be. We were just teenagers, we shouldn’t have ever tried. I hated you from the start. Augh! Stopstopstop! I don’t want to think like that! “I suppose the whole thing must seem really stupid to you now,” I hazarded, looking almost fearfully at you.

You furrow your brow and open your mouth to retort but anything you were about to say is cut off from a rather exuberant purple haired girl and a tomboyish carrot top. I inwardly cursed and praised them at the same time.

“I can’t believe you’re both here!” Kizuna squealed, “It’s so incredible!” She squeezed you tightly and I saw your rather shocked expression on your face, “We thought you weren’t coming Haruka-chan!”

I saw the tell tale twitch in your eye at the name but you merely shook your head, “I skipped out on a boring dinner party. I wasn’t needed there so I came here,” you answered, prying yourself from Kizuna’s death grip.

Kyoko chuckled, “I never thought I’d see the two of you talking civilly, this is unbelievable,” she mused in mild shock. We clasped hands and exchanged our normal ‘bro hug’ and grinned to one another. “I almost expect you two to suddenly fly into a game of, ‘let’s see who can make the underclassmen blush fastest!’”

I couldn’t help but laugh at Kyoko words, allowing my mind to think back to when we wore uniforms and Haruki and I would be attached at the hip, teasing the two younger of the four of us into a fierce blush. The illusion quickly faded though, “nah…I don’t think it’s as worthwhile now. You aren’t half as prude as before,” I sighed and shrugged, “So, about tonight, should I expect not to see you guys early tomorrow? Should we do dinner instead of lunch?” I asked with a large grin. As expected the two of them flushed and turned into a stuttering mess. I allowed myself to drift off into my little illusion again when you laughed.

“Truthfully, I was about to ask the same,” you admitted, putting a hand over your mouth to conceal your smirk, “it would seem as though you’ll be wanting your party over soon enough, right?”

“Sempai!” Kyoko cried, thoroughly embarrassed, “Stop it!” she had slipped back into her formal speech at this. Whenever I teased her enough to get this sort of blush she often reverted to calling me ‘sempai’ simply out of habit. She shook her head and allowed the flush to fade, “Anyways…Haruki, I don’t think we have a place for you to stay tonight…and I don’t think you suddenly checking into a hotel at this hour would be advisable,” Kyoko added sheepishly.

You swore at this and scowled, “damn it…I should’ve thought of that…”

My mouth moved without my knowing, “well, she can crash at my place,” as soon as the words fell from my mouth I found myself blinking in surprise at my quick response, “That is to say…I have a room she can use,” I added in slight confusion.

We all remained silent for a moment before you got over your shock first. You blinked a few times and then nodded, “If it wouldn’t be imposing on you…then I’ll stay over, Ichigo,”

--

That’s how you ended up at my house. Er…well, it’s actually a flat on top of an apartment building. It’s pretty big by most standards, but nonetheless you probably have a bigger mansion of some sort. “This is it, hope it suits your tastes,” I announced offhandedly, picking up a few stray magazines and other pieces of crap off the floor. “You’re probably tired, so I’ll show you to your room,” I turned to see you silently appraising my housing.

“Somehow I always figured you to have some sort of house like this Ichigo…” you mused, walking after me, “as for being tired, all I really want is a shower…so…please?” you gave me a rather sheepish smile and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Sure…go ahead, I’ll grab you some clothes to wear for bed,” I answered, pointing towards the large bathroom. As soon as you left my sight I couldn’t help but collapse onto my couch. This was all too much. I shouldn’t have invited you over. Who knows what this’ll cause. I scowled, besides…I’m sure that you hate me anyways, so I have no clue why you’d even think of staying over here. The only guarantee I can make would be that you wouldn’t be woken up in the middle of the night to two people in the erm…’throes of pleasure’…

I any case, I have to pick out some clothes for you to wear. This could be trouble…simply because I’m sure I have no night gowns, and I myself only wear sports bras and underwear to bed. Ugh…I suppose I could give you some boxers…or maybe some sweats? Yeah, sweats sound better… I picked myself off from the couch and turned on the tall lamp beside the couch for some light before trudging to my bedroom to change and grab you some clothing. Flicking on the lights in my room I yanked open my drawers and picked out my most comfortable pair of sweats and a long sleeved tee I had worn into an extremely comfortable garment. I tossed my own top off and shucked my pants in favor of my team sweatpants, keeping the tank top on. I loosened the bracelets on my wrists and chucked them on my dresser top and then walked out with the bundle of clothing. I lightly rapped my knuckles on the bathroom door and made my voice a bit louder, “Oi-Haruki? I got some clothes for you,” I called in still being careful to mind my voice to not startle.

“Hmm? Thanks,” you answer, opening the door slightly to take the bundle from my arms and make my throat run dry. Your hair was still damp, and the towel around your more modest areas was still allowing me a ample amount of eye candy. Upupup!! I gulped and I could tell my cheeks had become a deeper hue. When you closed the door I let out a deep breath and gulped again, feeling my heart pound. Damn it…what was it about you that made me so damn jumpy? Every other thing you do makes my heart race…And every time I look at you I simply can’t look away without my innards turning to some sort of mush. Fishsticks.

I sucked in another breath and forced myself away from the door and back to my room to turn off the light and turn back the couch. I flopped down and briefly considered making some tea to soothe the now forming headache. It figures I’d get a headache after a party and have to deal with you at the same time. Terrific. I’m cut off from this train of thought as you walk into the room , hair pulled back into a damp ponytail at the bottom of your neck. You must’ve brought some sort emergency kit in your purse. You know, come to think of it, you had that when we were younger too. Whenever we went out on a date or something you would have anything we needed in that purse of yours. I guess it really is worth something.

“Thanks for the clothes, they’re pretty warm,” you thanked, sitting on the couch with me, snuggling into the corner with all the pillows, pulling your knees up. I rose a eyebrow at this and you shrugged. I suppose that old habit wouldn’t die easily anyways. You were always looking for a way to stay secure. I had to resist the urge to wrap my arms around you and make you feel better, but I killed it before I could move.

“Not a problem,” I answered, “You’re my guest after all, it’d be bad for me not to take care of you,” I reminded, giving you a small grin.

“Why do I get the distinct feeling that you wear these a lot?” you muse, sniffing one of the sleeves lightly. I quirked a brow and you answered yourself, “They positively reek of your scent. I can smell you all over them,” you whispered, closing your eyes slowly.

“Haruki…” I whispered your name, unsure of what to say next and then a comeback finally came to me, “Well, they are my clothes after all, I’m sure that’s probably the reason why,” I finally retorted, leaning over a bit and sniffing. I snickered, “I can still smell your perfume. You always did buy it strong when you had to go out. Jailbait.” I teased with a grin.

You flushed slightly and harrumphed, “Be quiet, I’m endorsing it so I have to wear it,” you snap lightly, batting the top of my head with the back of your knuckles. You let a smile smirk crawl onto your face, “Or did you cure your habit of using men’s cologne?” I flushed at this and snorted.

“For your information-I actually wear perfume. I have to-part of some sponsorship crap and all that jazz,” I dismissed, waving a hand in the air.

“Ichigo…” I looked up and your eyes were serious, “what happened to us?” The question doesn’t shock me-I had been expecting it for some time now.

“We drifted. Simple as that. Or as complicated as that-whichever you want to call it. You had your goals, I had mine. They lead us apart,” I explained somberly, thinking back to those days where we rarely spoke. How far had we gone? Was there even a chance to come back?

“If you could go back, and change one thing,” you ask, leaning towards me, “what would you change?” your question confuses me and I have to think about it for a moment or two. What would I have changed? What could I change?

“Graduation Night,” I blurted out at last, “I really wanted to kiss you-but I didn’t.” I admitted, “I felt like if I did you’d just get angry…” I trailed off for a bit and then looked up into her eyes, leaning forward as well, “What…would you change?”

“Deciding to leave you behind and not look back. Or better yet, have simply taken the theatre course at the school around the Academy,” you answer truthfully. Now that makes me guilty. Yours sounds so good. Less greedy and less about you, more about us. Mine…it just seems selfish now. I suppose I always was selfish. I hadn’t noticed that our faces were still nearing one another until our foreheads touched.

“humm…your’s seems better than mine,” I whispered quietly, taking in a slow breath and reveling in the scent I had grown to love and know as Haruki’s. Wait…I still loved it? I could still tell it was hers? Even after all this time?

“Really?” You breathed, your breath, sweet and delicious, hitting my face in a waft, “I think I like yours better…” you trailed off, tilting your head slightly and angling the the lower half of your face to contradict my own.

When our lips touched it was electric. It was as if every feeling I’d tried to suppress about you suddenly exploded inside of me and over rode my mind. I simply couldn’t resist you. In that moment it was only you, only us. All I could do was squeeze you tightly and try to make my lips blend with yours. I was getting drunk off the sounds of your whimpers and soft gasps. I couldn’t get enough of it. I hadn’t kissed anyone so…so passionately, in such a long time. I was surprised I still knew how to do it.

I would have never stopped if I could. But you’re breathing was starting to hitch and I could feel you quivering beneath me. As I leant back, I realized I must have pushed you to the couch at some point in our exchange. I blinked, and found myself gaping at you. You were…crying. Not the quiet tears you would normally shed, but heaving sobs seemed to wrack your body. My throat immediately closed up. Was it my fault? It had to be my fault…”Ha-Haruki…I’m so-“ you cut me off, flinging your arms around my neck and pulling me into a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry!” was that you who just said she was sorry? Why did you… “I was being stupid and selfish! I should have stayed behind and I should have never let you go!” I could barely breath. Haruki…were you really apologizing to me?

A choked sob wracked my own body and tears I’d long since thought had dried up sprang forth. I apologized a thousand times over to you, holding you close and never wanting to let go. I felt alive, human, everything I hadn’t felt in years. It was great, it was primal, it was…passionate in a way.

“I’m sorry,” I finally managed to gasp, after however many minutes we laid there crying, “I’m sorry for not realizing what I had until it was gone,” I held you all the more tightly and gazed into your eyes, “forgive me?”

You chuckled, tired, and looped your arms around my neck once again, “Oh Ichigo…I’d forgiven you the moment I saw you at the party.” You answered affectionately, pulling me down towards your lips again. Forgiveness…it tasted sweet. That could’ve just been your mouth-but just the feeling washing over me-this feeling of lightness-I don’t think I could pin it down at all. It was setting me free.

---

“Say…Ichigo-that relationship you had before…how deep did it go?” you asked, the early dawn rays of light starting to filter in through my windows. I chuckled at the slightly curt question. I pulled you closer to me-my front pressing flush to your back and grinned, jealous was a good look on you.

“Why? Jealous Haru?” I drawled, chuckling again as I drew lazy patterns over your hip. Gods your skin is soft…It’s been so damn long since I was able to touch it. I couldn’t help but press a kiss against the crook of your neck and nuzzle closer to your scent. I smiled when I felt you shudder beneath my touch. Glad to see some things haven’t changed.

“Perhaps…” you murmur, capturing my roaming hand with one of your own and intertwining them, “I always wondered why you choose to go out with a boy-and not a girl. Especially since you were so ‘out’ in school,” you mused, snuggling closer to my heat.

I let out a silent groan, and then shrugged, “Dunno-he always seemed to be interested in me and we were teammates so it was easier to work around schedules that way. Besides-I had never been with a dude-guess I just wanted to give it a shot,” I answered with a grin. I could still remember our few make out sessions, and how perplexed he was when I would fight so hard for dominance. “Didn’t work out though-I’m just a bit too dominant to be with a man,” I grinned, and felt your giggle vibrate through my body.

“oh-so you were trying to see if you were bi?” you laughed and then squeezed my hand firmly, “I don’t think that’s possible. You’re Harusexual,” you answer cheerfully.

I cocked an eyebrow, the hell was Harusexual? “Care to enlighten me as to what that term means koibito?” I asked, a bit lost. I felt my breath hitch as you turned in our embrace to face me so I could clearly see your hazel eyes.

“Harusexual means that you are only, and will only ever be attracted to me,” you muttered you voice defensive and possessive. Your soft hand came to brush my cheek and you bit your lip slightly, “and that’s the way it’ll always be, right?” you whisper, fear in your voice.

I smiled, soft and tender, just for you and took your hand in my own against my face. “Of course. Haruki is my one and only,” I assured softly, nuzzling your nose slightly, “so does that mean that Haruki is Ichisexual?” I inquired, grinning as you laughed.

“Of course, what else would I be?” you tease, kissing me lightly. Koibito…you shouldn’t tease me with those kisses…I’ll be tempted to never let you leave this place again. I guess my eyes must’ve told you this because you smiled coyly and your eyes took on a devilish glint, “Anata…I don’t have anything planned for this weekend- and since the press doesn’t know where I am…” you trailed off, lifting a hand and trailing it down my flank.

My nostrils flared and quickly I had you pinned under me, my mouth covering yours in a vicious kiss. Thank the gods that I didn’t have any matches or practices this week. “Never again,” I growl against your neck, kissing it softly, “I’m never letting you go again,” I vow, “press be damned if I let there be anyone think you don’t belong to me,” I muttered fiercely against your skin, looking up to see a heartbreakingly beautiful look on your face. Were you about to cry? “Haru…ki?”

You answered me with a searing kiss, yanking me back to towards you to remind me that I had something to do. I moaned and whispered against your lips, “gods I love you…” how much have I missed saying those words? How much time could it take for me to ever express how much those words are true? It doesn’t matter- I have all the time in the world now.

“oh Ichigo…I love you too,”
---
enjoy? or should I just not post original stuff? x3

(( I haven't read this piece yet, Kona, but I wanted to make it clear that fanfiction/poetry of any kind is allowed here, not just Mai-HiME/Otome. I'm going to share my thoughts on this very soon, so watch out. ^_~ ))